


Jungle World

by Kunari801



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Cortega, M/M, Other, mShenko
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-11
Updated: 2013-01-11
Packaged: 2017-11-25 02:19:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 32,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/634071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kunari801/pseuds/Kunari801
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story covers the first few weeks after ME3's ending, between the Normandy crashing and getting the QEC communicator repaired to contact Earth. It will explore Kaidan's grief over Shepard while trying to lead the Normandy survivors.  Don't worry, it ends happy. </p>
<p>Note: Jungle World was started before the Extended Cut (EC) was released.  It follows the EC semi-closely, but there are some differences, post-EC chapters do follow the EC except for the variances I created in previous chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day Two

Over the static filled com channel Kaidan can hear the pain and weakness in the voice of his love, "I don't see. . . I'm not sure how to. . . " A thump is the last thing he hears just before the channel goes completely dead.

"Shepard!" Kaidan awakens with a start from a dream, a nightmare really. With his heart pounding rapidly and covered in sweat, Kaidan knew he wasn't getting any more sleep tonight. Every ship in the fleet overheard Hackett and Shepard in those final moments of the war. Everyone heard the last words from Shepard --the final words. Shepard somehow activated the Crucible, with communications cut no one knew how he did it, but the plasma explosion from the Citadel/Crucible vaporized the nearest Reapers. That's when Joker lit up the drive trying to get ahead of the blast radius. In the rear monitor, Kaidan could see the Citadel was still intact, the Wards were still visible so maybe the blast wouldn't destroy everything. He hoped that somehow Shepard had found a way to survive, yet could sense it was a lie.

Sitting up, his sweat covered chest glowing in the moonlight streaming in from the cracked observation window. Blinking away the tears from his eyes Kaidan looks around the moonlit room, the glow is enough to safely navigate around the other sleeping survivors. A quick check of his Omnitool reveals its 0230 hours. Muttering to no one, "Well, two hours sleep must be enough, right?" Watching the view of the nocturnal jungle outside the window while stretching out the kinks in his neck and back, he wonders for the hundredth time if they'll get back to Earth. 

Taking a shaky deep breath, Kaidan pulls away from the window. Thinking to himself, I must stay strong for the crew. Shepard would want me to take care of them. Absently rubbing his temple to sooth the looming migraine he walks down the hall to the men's room. Looking at himself in the mirror, bloodshot eyes reflecting back at him and splashing water on his face to wash away the tears. "Well, Major, let’s get started." Activating his Omnitool, Kaidan checks the note he wrote last night: "Day Two Tasks":

_0700: Adams: Normandy status meeting_  
 _0730: Garrus: Inventory, security, and rationing of the remaining food stores. Both Dextro and Levo based_  
 _James & Javik: Continue Jungle survey and begin search for edible fruits, plants, and animals_  
 _Tali & Samatha: QEC repair estimate_  
 _Cortez: Repair estimate on Kodiak for aerial surveys and possible flight to for rescue_  
 _Chakwas: Update on the wounded and Jokers condition_  
 _Liara: Inventory of Normandy supplies_

Still looking at his Omnitool while entering the mess hall, Kaidan nearly bumps into Dr. Chakwas, "Oh, Major. I didn't think anyone else was awake."

Shaking his shoulders, "I couldn't sleep. Too much to do. Thinking about Shep. . . " His voice cracking before he could finish.

"I know Major. Shepard was a great man and he loved you very much, we all saw it." Tears beginning to sting his eyes again. Chakwas gently grabs both his shoulders, "Remember that."

In a half-sob, "We did try to be discreet."

Chakwas looks into Kaidan's eyes and issues her signature motherly laugh, "It was adorable to see you two scurry about. We didn't need Javik's senses to see you two were in love."

Glancing toward Med-bay, Kaidan knows he needs to keep his mind occupied on the tasks at hand, clearing his throat, "How's our patients?"

A dark cast replaces the motherly smile, "Allers passed about an hour ago. Her internal injuries were too severe." Kaidan recalls the sight of the cargo hold she used as a room and studio. It was almost completely crushed, the bulkhead support beam had snapped from the force of the impact. "At least she didn't suffer for long, Doctor."

"As for Joker, he'll be fine. The crash cracked his right femur and three ribs but didn't puncture a lung. Though I think he's more upset that EDI is offline than he is about his injuries."

"I need Tali and Samatha working on the QEC. I can't spare anyone to work on EDI. I hope he understands." rubbing his temple out of habit.

Taking Kaidan's water cup from him, Chakwas pours a shot from the flask she was carrying. "Here drink this, it should help relax you a bit." 

Kaidan can smell it's brandy, "You know Doc, I prefer whiskey."

With a firm look on her face, "Finish your drink Major, then you should try to get a little more rest. Doctors orders."

Kaidan has seen that look before and decides it's better not to fight. Finishing the drink, he stands and turns toward Observation, "Yes, doc. I'll try."


	2. Day 2: Continued

#####  -I- 

Looking out the Observation viewport to see a jungle still sent a sense of wrongness down Chief Engineer Adams spine. Taking a breath before continuing his report, "So as you can guess Major, Normandy will never fly again without a drydock ship and mass effect lifters taking her into orbit." The look of sadness of Adam's face was only partly obscured by the large bandage covering the right side. The injury reminding Kaidan that everyone in Engineering was knocked around hard in the crash. The chief engineer was lucky, he lost two crewmen in the subdeck and three more were in med-bay. "The good news is the emergency generator can be repaired within five or six days." 

The chagrin look on Adam’s face raised Kaidan's eyebrow. "Why do I get the feeling there is a but?" 

Adams let out a little chuckle at being caught, "It's the batteries sir, they won't hold out that long. We have maybe three more days even at our current minimal power levels." continuing on quickly, "Ken and Gabby have an idea for a solar collector to keep the minimal systems online. We need to shut down the AC, it's too much of a power draw. It'll get hot in the Normandy without it, but the vents will still pull in fresh air from outside. The water purifier doesn't require much power, but it'll operate slower than normal, so I suggest we ration water as well as our food stocks." 

"I'm talking about rations with Garrus next." Typing a note into his Omnitool Kaidan continued, "Tell Ken and Gabby to get on that solar project. Let me know if there is anything you guys need to get it, or the generator, functioning. Liara should be done with the supplies inventory today." Standing to shake hands with the engineer Kaidan noticed the odd look in Adam’s face. 

"You know major, I never got to thank the Commander properly for all those upgrades to the Normandy he did over the past year. If it wasn't for them we'd be in terrible shape now. Well, you would, everyone in Engineering would have been killed when the Crucible's plasma wave hit us." 

With a deep breath Kaidan locked his expression on his face. "He is taking care of us even now." before his throat completely choked up, "Thank you Lieutenant." 

Adams opened the door and saw Garrus turn the corner headed his way. "Just in time Garrus. The Major and I just finished." 

Kaidan heard the exchange. Quickly wiping the tears and masking the pain from his face before Garrus or Adams noticed. "Garrus, come in." Taking note that Garrus' eye piece was missing and without it the Turian looked strange. 

"Hell of a day Major." Garrus' voice took Kaidan back to Earth. Shepard and Garrus at his sides as they looked at the Conduit beam 300 meters ahead. Anderson behind them as they watched Harbinger land protectively next to the Conduit. That terrible flat screech howling from the Reaper. . . 

"Major?" Garrus' voice shook Kaidan back to the present. 

"Yeah, hell of a day and today doesn't seem to be less. . . interesting either." with a sigh and turning to look out the window to hide his tears from Garrus, "Tell me you've got some good news. I've had enough of bad news for awhile." 

"Good enough I hope." sitting down on the couch "With just Tali and I needing Dextro based foods our stocks should last us at least a year if we ration. We already know the planet is Levo based but even that stock could last a few months with your numbers before you'd need to eat local food." Glancing over at the Major he caught Kaidan wiping his eyes, "Our stock of Canadian Lager is however, on short supply." 

Kaidan appreciated the joke but needed to remain focused. Finally trusting his voice not to break, "A year? That is good news. Gives us time to get the QEC going, or dig out the Kodiak and get some help, or get rescued." Kaidan knew was rambling, and sounding a bit desperate, so he stopped talking. 

"It gives us time." Garrus agrees calmly in his metallic sounding voice. 

Getting back to their current predicament, "It gets more fun." turning to look at Garrus, "According to Adams, we'll also need to ration water until the generator fixed." Starting to pace in front of the window, "Also, I think we can move the non-perishable food to. . . " Garrus and Kaidan continue their meeting. 

 

#####  -II- 

Out in the hot and humid jungle, James, Javik, and Private Westmoreland were conducting the survey around the Normandy. The Private using her Omnitool to scan a piece of fruit. Her voice light, "It may look strange, but it checks out as edible." 

"We need to secure a perimeter around the Normandy." in Javik's strange dialect James thought it sounded like a scolding, "Not look for fruit, Human." that confined it was a scolding. 

Taking note of Westmoreland's expression James spoke up first, "Take it easy Javik. It's all part of the survey, besides it probably tastes better than ration bars." smiling at the Private, "Isn't that right Beth?" 

Looking at her two companions, "Javik is correct too sir. We should consider making a clearing around the Normandy as a security perimeter." 

With a grin and a wave of his hand, "Both of you are too uptight." in his best airy voice. They were right of course, setting up a perimeter was the next step after finishing the survey. He and the Major had already discussed it, "First we need to finish this initial survey. Beth, mark the location of that fruit tree and grab a sample. Let's get this done." smiling and winking at the Private, "Before the rest assume we've been eaten by the locals." 

Javik looking confused, “What locals?” James and Westmoreland shared a look then a laugh. The three continued on into the jungle. 

 

#####  -III- 

Using her biotics to re-stack boxes and crates, Liara was making good time with the inventory. There was a set of large boxes in the back of the supply room that caught her eye. "Glyph, inventory those two large boxes on the port side." The glow of her VI assistant buzzed around the cargo hold toward the direction instructed. 

"Their packing-chip states they are protein growing chambers from Smith-Agra Industries." Glyph states in its electronic monotone. 

With a perplexed look, "What are 'Paste Factories' doing on the Normandy?" Not that she expected Glyph to have the answer, but the question jumped from her mouth anyway. Continuing her train-of-thought, "If we can get them running that could solve our long term food problem for Tali and Garrus." Protein Growing Chambers, or Paste Factories, were in essence small nearly automated food generators that made a thick protein paste. They take months to get the initial batch grown, but as long as they're given feed-stock they'll continue to produce a ready-to-eat, or drink, paste. Originally designed by Humans for the first slower than light exploration ships. They were largely forgotten once Humanity had discovered the Mass Relays and FLT drive technology on Mars. Years ago, the quarians had learned of the technology and contracted Smith-Agra to modify the units to Dextro protein. The latest models could be set for either Levo or Dextro and were much smaller and faster than the original models. Rumor was that nearly every quarian ship had at least one unit on board to offset their food needs. 

Glyph's voice interrupted her train-of-thought, "It was Commander Shepard." 

She didn't even try to hold back the shock, "Excuse me?"

"Several weeks ago, EDI identified several potential issues in transporting, sheltering, and feeding the Krogans armies. When EDI informed Commander Shepard of these he ordered EDI to make any preparations necessary." Spinning past the last obstacle Glyph came to eye level with Liara, "EDI took it upon itself to 'Prepare-for-the-worst'." 

Crossing her arms and tilting her head, “'Prepare-for-the-worst'? Now, how would you know EDI said that?" Glyph’s eye just looked at her. . . 

 

#####  -IV- 

With the reddish sunset streaming in from the skylight, Kaidan sat at the end of Shepard's bed. Taking a deep breath he noted again how the air still held Shepard's musky scent. The room was a mess and looked wrong without the light from the fish tank. Protective plating covered the glass when the Normandy was at battle stations, lucky for the fish inside as the glass had broken in the crash. Without the light, the VI feeder and oxygen pump was a low enough power draw that Kaidan couldn't bring himself to order Adam's to turn it off. An excuse? Maybe, but they were Shepard's fish and he'd lost enough of Shepard for a lifetime, he was going to keep what he could. 

Sadly, there was no such protection for Shepard's models. With a wan smile, he turned the still intact model of the SR-2 in his hands and remembered how giddy Shepard was whenever he purchased a new model. The night he and Shepard assembled the Quarian Liveship playing through his memory. Tears forming ini his eyes, "What are you doing in here Alenko?" he asked the empty room with a sad sigh. 

Most everyone else was on the crew deck getting dinner and though his stomach growled, he had no appetite. He knew the doctor would be bugging him to eat and she was right, he'd used his biotics enough today that his blood sugar was crashing. At least the migraine hadn't came today but was still there waiting in the center of his head. Setting the model gently aside, "All right, time to get back to work." saying to himself. 

Clearing his throat and reactivating the recording chip on his Omnitool, he resumes his audio log, "Day two continued. Tali feels there is yet hope for the QEC which is good as Cortez says the Kodiak will take a least a month to dig out of the cargo hold much less repair. Liara found two Paste Factories. . . " Kaidan recording the day's events as he fell back to lay on Shepard's bed, staring out the skylight at the darkening sky.


	3. Coma

#####  -I-

_Blackness; empty nothingness. Was this death? He didn't know._

_The blackness fade into noise and movement, then into agony. . . Oh, why did it hurt so? The whole universe was nothing but pain, noise, and movement. This was worse than death. The roar around him became deafening, the ground shaking and every movement summoning ever-increasing waves of anguish. As suddenly as the tumult began, it stopped, leaving agony as his only companion. Death couldn't hurt this bad. He felt the blackness returning and welcomed the respite; at least there was no pain there._

 

#####  -II- 

In the bouncing and crowded shuttle, Jack and a few of her best biotic students sit with the S&R team heading to the Citadel ruins. Jack is running the past few hours through her head; The sudden ending of the war, The red plasma wave and Reapers falling over “dead”, Then learning that Shepard was MIA but presumed still on the Citadel, and her arguing with Admiral Hackett to let her onto this team.

Shepard and Jack had a rocky past; he was always the damn-boy-scout when she wanted to kick-ass-and-take-no-bullshit, but she had to admit, Shepard got the job done his way too. They worked well together. She respected Shepard and though she'd kill anyone who would say it aloud, she had a bit of a crush on him. He had pulled her ass out of the fire on Grissom Academy, now it was time for her to return the favor. Looking Rodriquez and Prangley in the eyes, she tried to calm herself.

Rodriquez and Prangley could see Jack was agitated and they both knew she had been with Commander Shepard on the Collector Base mission. Somehow the Commander had pulled his entire squad out of what should have been a suicide mission. This time it didn't look like he was so lucky, but they owed it to him to try. Hell, the entire galaxy owed him. Rodriguez looked over at Prangley then back to Jack and all three nodded in unison.

Jack getting her agitation under control, "All right people, here's the deal. Shepard's last known position was somewhere at, or near, the top of the Citadel tower. So that's where we're going to start our search." Every eye in the cabin was on her, "We don't know what shape that part of the Citadel will be nor what Shepard's condition is, so time is of the essence but don't be a dumb-ass. We're here to rescue Shepard not become a casualty." She caught one of the med-team members a Lt Jensen rolling her eyes. "What the fuck is that look Jensen?"

Lt. Jensen was not new to S&R and EMT teams. In her ten years of this work, she’d seen people survive in some of the worst conditions, but this? No way. This was a gesture, otherwise they'd send more than one shuttle to look for him. Looking at Jack levelly she said, "We should be looking for survivors, Ma'am. For all we know.."

"What the fuck do you think you know? We are here 'Looking for survivors' Jensen, the most important survivor for this whole damn war!" Jack was fighting to contain her anger and could feel her implants buzzing, "Is that clear Jensen?"

The look on Jack's face and the biotic glow told her that Jack still expected Shepard to be alive. Well, she'd learn soon enough, no use arguing about it right now. "Yes, ma'am" in a little over-forced voice but Jack's biotic glow ceased.

Keeping her signature "Evil Eye" on Jensen, she continued with the mission Hackett had assigned her, "We're here to assist the med team by clearing debris and protecting them if any hostiles remain." The shuttle had finally exited Earth's atmosphere and the shuttle ride became smooth and quiet.

The overhead buzzed, "Landing in two minutes." came the pilots sharp voice. The pilot noting numerous shuttles heading to locations all over the Citadel.

Jack looked at everyone one more time, "All right get your asses ready, remember no stupid bullshit." With that, everyone starts their final equipment checks and fastening their helmets to suit hardpoints.

 

#####  -III- 

_The peaceful blackness was interrupted by a sound, a noise that got louder and louder, finally resolving into words,_ "There he is!" _Pain followed the voices._ "I've got vitals! They're weak, we don't have much time." _Another voice loud, but familiar somehow,_ "Two of you fuckers help me lift this beam. Now!" _Fresh stabs of pain crash over him. Why wouldn't they just leave him alone to float in the blackness?_ "Get him on the stretcher" _More footsteps approach then more noises that should be familiar yet weren't._ "This should hold him while we get him into the shuttle." _A cold numbness takes the edge off the pain, then a sense of movement as a strangely familiar noise arrives. The numbness continues to spread as the inky blackness reclaims him again._

Lt Jensen applied more medi-gel to Shepard as soon as they loaded him onto the shuttle. The bleeding slowed again but did not stop. Shepard looked so pale and broken, Jack was speechless. She was no stranger to combat wounds, even as as adept, she’d seen her share of close-quarters combat. As the shuttle shuddered and began to lift Jack could hear the pilot on the radio getting instructions to head to the SSV Argentina.

 

#####  -IV- 

_Pain and blackness no longer defined his world. Death must have him now as he finds himself in a floating and weightless world filled with a cloudy hazy light. Indistinct noises begin to penetrate his new domain yet pain remains absent. Shapes begin to form out of the haze and the noise takes shape into a voice,_ "Oh God, look at him." _Who said that? He should know that voice but could not recall. The question is quickly forgotten as Anderson's face forms from one of the hazy shapes. Anderson smiles and turns to look at him and in sync with the unknown-yet-familiar voice Anderson says,_ "I'm proud of you son. You did good." _Anderson then fades back into the haze as the noises recede yet again._

As the door closes, she continues looking through the glass window at her son, "Is he going to make it Doctor?" Rear Admiral Hannah Shepard asks with concern afraid of the answer yet needing to know.

Chief Medical Officer Davis of the SSV Argentina looks at her and says with a practiced tone, "It was touch and go and we're not out of the woods yet Admiral. We had to amputate below his left knee and his L5 implants may be burned out, but it's too early to tell for sure." Turning his head and returning his gaze to the Commander, he continues, "He's got first and second degree burns all over his body and even some third degree burns on his face and hands. His eyes were also damaged in the blast so He may need eye implants. Finally, he remains in a coma and floats in and out of REM sleep."

With her time in the service, this wasn't the first time she lost someone close to her. Years ago she and Shepard lost her husband, but this was unlike any other loss she ever endured. She willed with all her power for Alan to recover. She expelled a long, shaky breath, "Will he ever wake up?" struggling to maintain her authoritative tone as she dabbed at her eyes with a tissue.

Dr Davis returns his gaze to her, "Frankly, at this time, we just don't know. It's a miracle he survived at all Admiral and as I told you yesterday, few could have survived the trauma he endured. The next few days and weeks will be telling."

Next to Shepard a monitor began to blink REM SLEEP.

 _Out of the fuzzy haze Kaidan's face appeared. His brown eyes hard,_ "I just want to know, is the person I followed to hell and back–the person that I loved–are you still in there… somewhere?" _As he reaches out a hand to touch Kaidan the haze reclaimed him, Kaidan was gone. Shepard is alone and his heart breaks._

 

#####  -V- 

Light years away, Kaidan is in a restless sleep. _We're old soldiers you and I. We both know the score, this is goodbye._  Kaidan woke with a jerk, dreaming of his last semi-private moments with Shepard at the London FOB. Lighting and rain continuing to fall outside the Normandy.

The debate echoing in his head resuming, the same questions and non-answers has been plaguing him for days, _Would Shepard have fought harder to survive if I hadn't planted that seed of doubt?_  No. . . Yes. . . Maybe. . . FUCK!!! "What the hell was I thinking saying that to Alan?!" Way to fuck up Alenko! You dumbass!

His heart still racing in his chest he takes a deep shaky breath as he sits up. Angry at himself. Angry at the universe for taking away his love. Just. . . Angry. The sound of the rain and thunder a fitting accompaniment to his mood. Lighting fills the room with strobing light and his eye catches the picture of Shepard he was looking at last night. Putting his head in his hands he tries to hold back the sobs taking several deep breaths trying to get control of his emotions.

After a few minutes he calms and stands up alone in Shepard's cabin, unintentionally sleeping up here again. The hot humid air in the room making him sweaty and thirsty. Activating his Omnitool to light his way, noting the time, one he was becoming all too familiar with; 0300 hours. Entering the bathroom to relieve himself, then turning to the sink to rinse his hands and fill a glass with water. Drinking the water in gulps he quickly emptied the cup and gets a refill.

Walking back toward the bed, he knows he isn't getting enough sleep, and it is eating away at his self-control. Desperate, he tries an old meditation technique he learned years ago as a means of managing his migraines. After several frustrating minutes, his mind finally clears and Kaidan falls asleep to the sound of rain hitting the Normandy's battered hull.


	4. Day 5

##### 0530 Hours - Shepard’s Cabin

The rainy night gives way to a early morning dawn, the remaining clouds cast a brilliant red glow in the sky as bird-analogs soaring in the morning breeze welcoming the new day with their strange birdsong. The early light streams down out of the skylight and brightening the room. On the bed, Kaidan is sleeping curled up in a fetal position snoring softly, a picture of Shepard near his outstretched hand. Suddenly his Omnitool alarm sounds pulling him out of his slumber. Kaidan groans as he rolls out of bed, rubbing his temple, as he heads for the restroom. Thinking to himself, God, I could use a shower. But he reminds himself that water rationing prohibits that luxury. 

Two decks below, inside the Main Gunnery, Garrus’s arm is wrapped around Tali as they spoon on his makeshift hammock as both their Omnitool alarms light up and begin to buzz simultaneously. The twin alarms startles Tali from her sleep and she hits the snooze command with practiced ease. In a groggy voice Tali states, “Just ten more minutes. I’m not ready to get up yet.” As she falls back to sleep. Garrus chuckles as he shuts off his alarm and climbs out of bed and begins to get dressed. What passes as a Turian smile spreads on his face as he recalls their night together. Pulling on his shirt as he walks out of the room, heading for the bathroom. His acute hearing picks up the sounds of other crew members rousing from sleep.

 

##### 0630 Hours - Crew Deck

The scent of breakfast fills the Crew Deck as more of the crew follow their noses into the mess area. Breakfast is the most tasty meal as rationing is, at least for now, less restricted for this meal. Over the last few days, James’ scouting parties have collected a assortment of local fruits and berries. One, a dark purple fruit, that is shaped like an Earth banana, when added to hot oatmeal gives a similar taste and aroma to cinnamon apples. Naturally, it is one of the most popular choices of the Human members of the crew. 

Garrus is eating a ration bar when observes Kaidan climbing down from the CIC Deck. The bags under his eyes looking even more pronounced today, as Liara and Garrus share a look of concern for the Major. Their look seemingly pleading to each other, “Talk to him about this.” Yet he doesn’t know what to say that could help.

On the other side of the table, James looks up from his plate, noticing the Major picking over the fruit bowl, “Hey Major, do you think Adam’s will ever get on that Elevator repair?” In his best joking voice, “My arms are getting tired from all the climbing.” Smiles and giggles fill the room. With equal numbers laughing at James --for making such a lame joke-- as are those that are laughing with the joke. 

Kaidan scowls, opening his mouth to reply but Liara is quicker, “James, you know the shaft is warped and cannot be repaired.” In her calm measured voice. 

“Vega should be an expert on warped shafts.” Cortez interjects. The Human part of the crew, getting the joke immediately, bursts into laughter that fills the room. Spending enough time with Shepard and other Humans, Garrus joins in with his metallic laugh without missing a beat. 

“Not nearly the expert on shafts as you are, Esteban.” James fires back quickly. Liara and Tali take a moment but begin to giggle once they catch on to the joke. 

The laughter continues to roll as Kaidan approaches the table, a scowl never leaving his face, “All right settle down.” His voice a bit too harsh and the laughter dies quickly. As he sits, he reminds himself that even though he’s not in the mood, banter like this is good for crew morale. “They need this Alenko. Calm down.” He scolds himself. Continuing in a neutral tone, “We’ve got a big day ahead of us and hopefully a hot shower to look forward to tonight, if we get the solar arrays online today.” Agreement to that last sentiment circles the table. It’s been days since water rationing was put into effect, the pre-packaged bath-cloths just don’t clean as well as a good hot shower. 

“Finally! Everyone is starting to smell a bit ripe.” States Joker as he walks out of the MedBay with Dr. Chakwas on his tail. “I was going to have to start holding my breath soon.” Joker heard the laughter just a few moments ago but missed the shift in mood. Smiles greet him but only a few slight giggles. Taking note of Kaidan’s look he sheepishly adds, “Sorry, Major. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” There is still a cast on Joker’s leg and wrapping across his chest. 

Scolding himself again for killing the jovial mood, “It’s OK Joker. We’ve just got a busy day.” Kaidan adds in the best nonchalant tone he can manage. Activating his Omnitool to open his note file, “Well, lets be about it shall we?” Kaidan looks around the table with a forced smile, finding everyone is attentive, he returning to his notes, “Looks like Westmoreland and Campbell are up to gather more fruit and checking traps, I may join you two today, I could use the fresh air. Next, James & Javik will be finishing up the perimeter setup. Engineering is, of course, setting up the solar collector. Cortez & Garrus, are you two still on for the Paste Factory setup today?” 

Steve and Garrus start simultaneously, “We’re good to go. . . ” They both look at eachother then start again, “Go ahead. . . .” Everyone begins to laugh at the exchange. Finally Steve holds up a forefinger to Garrus, “I’m good to go Major, but if you need me on something else instead. . . ” 

The exchange put a genuine smile on Kaidan’s face, “No, it’s fine we’ll need the Paste Factories setup soon since the initial batch takes months.” Checking his Omnitool again, “Finally, Samatha and Tali are continuing work on our QEC.” Looking over at the Quarian, “How is it going Tali?”

Tali also starts her Omnitool, a small hologram of the QEC device hovering in the air, “The QEC core system checks are complete. The entangled particles are stable, so we know the other half of the entanglement still exists,” As she talks each part she mentions highlights. “Which means the Crucible didn’t destroy Hackett’s ship. We still need to fix the communications equipment and timing circuits.” Tali notices many eyes around the table glazing over, “If you want more details Major, we can discuss it later without boring the rest of the crew.” 

Kaidan was willing to leave the technical details to Tali and Samantha, “That sounds fine Tali I’d rather you focus on repair for now.” Looking around the table most everyone had completed their breakfast, “If there’s nothing else then let’s get this day started.” 

As the room begins to clear, Liara speaks up, “Major, I’d like a moment of your time if you have a minute.” Kaidan nods agreement as he re-fills his coffee cup before heading to Liara’s office. 

Joker swallows a bite of food and waves Kaidan over, “Major, can you put repairing the Nav Comp onto the schedule? We’ll need it to help locate where we crashed and the dorsal sensors will also need a clear view of the sky to lock onto pulsars.” Joker adds, “If I had EDI back I could do more for the crew too.” 

Kaidan’s eyes go hard, “I’ll talk to Adam’s about it later.” Kaidan prevents himself from saying, “But your girlfriend can wait!” However, Kaidan’s tone of voice made it clear to Joker. 

“Look, EDI can help us if we can get her back online. You know that Major.” Joker knows he’s touched a nerve and that Kaidan is hurting. He can relate as he also lost his father and sister in the war, “Yes, I want her back for personal reasons too, but that isn’t my primary reason Major.” 

Kaidan’s look softens, He knows it’s not fair for him to take out his anger on Joker, and damn-him, he was right too, “I’ll ask about the Nav-Comp. . . and EDI.” He notices Dr. Chakwas and Cortez talking together and both look at him in concert. Asking himself, “I wonder what they’re plotting?” as he approaches Liara’s office and find the door is ajar. 

“Please come in Major,” Greets Glyph. “Dr. T’Soni has almost completed a project she’d like to show you.” The VI assistant continues as it flies farther into the office to a workbench Liara is working over.

“So, Liara, any withdrawals from losing all your data feeds?” Kaidan asks casually as he passes the wall of dead data displays. He notices she’s working on three of the time capsule units. Curious why she’d be working on them now that the war is over, “More time capsules, eh?” 

“As you know we were planting these time-capsules around the galaxy for the next cycle, just-in-case the worst happened. Admiral Hackett even had copies on many other ships with the same orders.” Activating the power button on one of the capsules, while it starts up, Liara turns around to look into the Major’s eyes, “We had ten remaining time-capsules aboard the Normandy when we crashed. They have a simple VI and a limited movement range of 10 to 12 meters from the capsule.” Turning back to the time capsule, “Glyph and I changed the programming of these two to help the scouting parties.” 

The time capsule finishes powering up and out of the top of the unit appeared a smaller version of Glyph who spun on its axis before coming to rest at eye level to Kaidan and Liara, “Good morning. This unit is ready.” Came a electronic voice out of the capsule panel. 

Kaidan looks Liara, “10 to 12 meter range? How does this help with the scouting parties Liara?” He notices the straps on the capsule, “Ah, nevermind, you’re thinking of making them a backpack.” 

Liara nods, “Precisely, Mini here can, oh we gave it a name, just temporary of course.” Liara stammers as she picks up a tool unconsciously, “Anyway, the holographic camera can give the scouts an aerial view. Plus the other scanners and sensors in infrared, x-ray, and other wavelengths. The new VI is still rough and I’m working on another to act as a sentry for the perimeter.” Liara points to the third capsule, its top panel removed, “No weapons or anything, of course, but it can monitor for movement and alert the crew if an animal, or other threat, has breached the perimeter.” 

“That’s great Liara, is the first one ready? I can take it for a spin with today’s group.” Kaidan reaches for the first capsule with the straps. 

“Not yet Major, perhaps tomorrow.” She returns the tool to the bench and returns to face Kaidan, “I actually had an ulterior motive in asking to speak to you.”

Kadians crosses his arms and tilts his head, “Ok, hit me.” In a flat monotone. 

Liara begins in a soft tone, “Major, it’s been six days and we’ve all noticed you aren’t sleeping or eating well. . . ” 

“It’s been five days.” Kadian corrects rather abruptly. Taking a calming pause, “Sorry. You are right, I haven’t been sleeping well and I haven’t had much appetite either, but I’m fine. We. . . I, need to keep focused, to keep everyone here safe, to protect them. It’s what Shepard would have done and it’s what he’d want me to do.” Kaidan stammers fighting his emotions. 

Holding back tears, Kaidan tries to turn away but Liara places a hand on his shoulder, “We all miss him Kaidan. He was a great friend and leader, but he wouldn’t want to see you like this.” Liara’s tone is soft and gentle, “Have you considered adding Shepard’s name to the Memorial Wall?” 

Kaidan had not considered it, “We don’t know for sure. He could have somehow made it off the Citadel. . . ” As his throat closes up he turns so Liara doesn’t see his tears. 

“Oh Kaidan.” Liara is at a loss for words. “I know it’s not easy, you know how I lost my Mother, and I’m sure your pain is many times worse right now. Holding all that pain inside is not healthy.” She knows if there was any way to survive the Citadel, Shepard would have found it, but she can not believe even Shepard could have survived. She can see Kaidan isn’t ready to accept. 

Clearing his throat and wiping tears from his red eyes Kaidan turns back to look at Liara, “I’ve been carrying this since we crashed.” From his shirt pocket he pulls out a small picture of Shepard, the edges starting to fray and curl. “Maybe.. Maybe, we could put the picture next to his name?” Kaidan wasn’t exactly sure who he was asking. 

Liara also starting to tear up, looks up at the Major, “That’s a good idea Kaidan. . .” 

Liara is interrupted by Kaidan’s Omnitool communicator, “Major we’ve got a small problem outside on the roof.” Ken’s Scottish dialect is sometimes hard for Kaidan to understand, but he really has grown to like the man. Kaidan takes a moment to assemble himself, “I’ll be right out Ken.” Looking up he sees Liara wiping her face too. On his way out the door, “Guess that scouting trip will have to go without my services today. Thanks Liara, maybe, maybe tonight after dinner.”

 

##### 0715 Hours 

Outside the Normandy the sun is rising, the solar heat turning the dew into vapor. Garrus walks out of the hatch with the last of the boxes for the Paste Factory. Steve isn’t sure why Garrus insisted they assemble the first part of the Factory outside on the Normandy’s wing but wasn’t going to argue. Surrounded by more boxes, He continues to skim over the assembly instructions. Smiling as he turns a page in the manual, “This reminds me of making home-made beer with my dad. More complex of course, but some similarities.” 

Garrus sets down the box and looks over at Cortez, “Really? I heard it was like making something called sourdough bread. Something about having to grow a ‘Mother dough’ which is why the startup takes so long.” 

Turning off the data-pad and setting it down to help Garrus open the boxes, “Perhaps. I’ll admit it’s much more complex than the small batches of beer I helped my dad make.” Changing subjects, “Tell me again, why we’re doing this outside?” 

Garrus looks out at the beautiful morning and stretches his arms wide turning back-and-forth, “This is why.” As he turns to look at Steve, “That, and Tali tells me the initial setup can be, how’d she put it, ‘Smelly’ until the first growth tank is sealed at least.” With a chuckle Steve agrees. Garrus’ eyes Steve and with a serious tone, “So lieutenant, can I ask you something. . . personal?” 

Steve stops unpacking the box he was working with and turns to look at Garrus, “This sounds serious.” Taking a moment, he stands up to face Garrus, “Sure go ahead.”

Garrus looks at Steve for a moment constructing his thoughts, “I’ve spent enough time around Humans to catch on to your courting, subtleties. I could tell you and Shepard got close, did you two ever. . . ” 

Cortez holds up both hands, “Let me stop you right there Garrus.” His voice a little more firm than intended. “I’ll admit I cared for Shepard, he helped me through some dark days. For that he’ll always have a special place in my heart.” Scratching his head absentmindedly, he contemplates, “By the time I was ready, the Commander had already rekindled his relationship with Kaidan. I was happy for them, maybe a little jealous of Kaidan, but happy for them. But, yeah, Garrus if the Major hadn’t been around, I could've seen myself with Shepard.”

Neither noticed Kaidan had walked out of the hatch and was on his way toward the ladder to the roof. Steve goes a little red hoping that Kaidan didn’t overhear, but before either of them can say anything they hear Ken and Gabby getting into a argument on the roof. Kaidan continues up the ladder like he didn’t hear Steve.

“Kenneth, you’re going to hurt yourself if you don’t slow down.” Gabby’s voice is a mix of anger and worry. “Go get something to clean that connection port before you short it out and kill yourself.” 

Kaidan is just clearing the ladder and looks at the two engineers. He’s never seen Gabby so upset before, her face is slightly flushed, “Am I intruding?” Shepard told him about the time he found them in the subdeck, and both him and Shepard thought it was funny they weren’t the only ones “sneaking” around. Thinking to himself, “They do make a cute couple, when they aren’t fighting.” 

Gabby turns to Kaidan, “Major, the rain last night got into some of the power coupling ports for the solar array. Luckily no damage, but we need to dry the connections before we power on the array. Kenneth wanted to test the array first but that could cause an electrical arc that could hurt or kill someone.” 

Ken rolls his eyes, “It’s not that bad. Gabby is just doom-and-gloom about a little rain.”

Kaidan doesn’t want to get into the middle of a couple's quarrel, but has little choice now, “Look, you both know we have what, about 12% left on our batteries.” Looking at both of them with his best I’m-the-boss-look, “We can’t afford any setbacks on this array. Get it done, but do it right and do it safe.” Walking over to one of the ports in question he kneels down to get a better look, “Now, what will it take to keep water from getting in here once the array is online?” 

Gabby kneels next to Kaidan. “We have a sealant we can use on the hatch ports.” She points to the cover next to her. “But it requires the the surface to be dry and clean first. Isn’t that right Kenneth?” 

“Ok, ok, I can tell when I’m outnumbered.” Ken says with a sigh while Kaidan and Gabby share a small smile. Kaidan begins to ask Gabby more questions about the solar array as Ken climbs down the ladder.

 

##### 1030 Hours 

Still working on the Normandy’s wing, Garrus and Steve have most of the Paste Factory assembled. The initial growth tank is unpacked and Garrus is filling it with water. Steve is pouring in a package that looks like a bunch of small rocks, “Hmph. Says here this is Calcium, Phosphorus, Magnesium, Potassium, Iron, and other minerals.” 

Garrus shuts off the water and begins looking at the data-pad again, “Tali says Paste Factories produce a liquid that, how did she put it? Ah yes, ‘Contains all the protein, vitamins and carbs of a full meal in a glass of sludge’. Wait, she said it was a ‘thick shake’ I called it ‘Sludge’.” Steve and Garrus chuckle together. “Ok, now add that last package so we can turn on this tank.” 

Steve retrieves the package and pours in the powdery substance. Recalling what he read earlier, “According to the documentation. The, uh, ‘sludge’ can also be dried into a solid much like Tofu.” Garrus just nods and Steve wonders aloud, “What’s in this powder?” 

Referencing the data-pad, Garrus reads aloud, “This package is the enzymes and yeasts that will break down the minerals. The resultant fluids are used as feed stock for the stage-two process.” Steve and Garrus share a look then Steve shakes his shoulders. “My thoughts exactly.” States Garrus. They continue to follow the assembly instructions. 

In the QEC room, Tali is working with the Repair Module in the corner. “Bosh'tet! This module is out of calibration.” Tali stats without thinking. 

Traynor smiles, “Too bad Garrus isn’t in here to Calibrate it for you.” As they both break into a giggle. 

“I can fix it.” Tali looks over at Samantha, “How’s the diagnostic on the timing array coming?” 

“This one is FUBAR, it’ll have to be replaced. I’m starting the test on the secondary unit now.” Traynor looks over the assembled QEC equipment. “With just the solar array we can’t power the holo tank but audio only should work fine.” 

Tali quickly pulls her hand away from the repair module, “Keelah!” Examining her hand she quickly applies a patch. Traynor looks over with concern but Tali simply states, “I’m fine, just got my finger caught on a sharp edge. Now let me see that timing unit, maybe we can repair it. . . .” Tali and Traynor continue to work on the QEC.

 

##### 1900 Hours 

The sounds of the shower cease, and a few moments later Kaidan steps out of the bathroom into Shepard’s quarters with a towel wrapped around his waist. Walking over to his foot locker he pulls out his mess uniformthankful that it survived the crash. 

While getting dressed he remembers the last time he wore this uniform; It was at his Spectre ceremony. Shepard never liked pomp and circumstance but Kaidan still wanted Shepard to attend but Udina overruled and pushed the ceremony ahead. Thinking about it now, he could see many signs of Udina’s dirty dealing clearly, the traitorous bastard. Why didn’t he see them then? Remembering something Shepard told him once, “Hindsight is 20/20 Kaidan.” Now he understands. Kaidan, finished dressing, looks himself in the mirror and adjusts his uniform slightly. Taking a deep breath he turns to go out the door with his back straight heading for the Crew Deck. 

Several minutes later, he’s standing in front of the Memorial Wall on the Crew Deck. He pulls Shepard’s picture from his pocket, tapes the picture and a hand-written name tag to the wall before stepping back and saluting the picture. Behind him the crew is also saluting. After a pause Kaidan turns to them, “Tonight we gather to remember Commander Shepard, Spectre, Leader, Marine, and Hero. I don’t know how he did it, and maybe I never will, but Shepard has saved each and every one of us from the Reapers. He saved the entire galaxy giving us all a future he couldn’t. For that, the galaxy is a smaller place without him.” Kaidan’s throat closes up as he turns to look at the wall, holding up a hand to Ashley’s name he continues, “Shepard once told me about a time he talked with Ash about Tennyson on the SR1.” Turning back to the crew, “I know, too look at him you wouldn’t think it, but he really liked Ulysses and I feel a little reading would be fitting: 

“Though we are not now that strength which in old days moved Earth and heaven; That which we are, we are; One equal temper of heroic hearts, Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will. To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”

Taking a moment to get his voice under control again, “I know we all have memories to share and I’ve been told that Garrus and Tali have setup something in the Conference Room upstairs for everyone. I’ll see you all up there in a moment. Thank you.” 

Everyone starts to break up and climb up to the CIC Deck. Kaidan turns back to the wall placing a hand next to Shepard’s picture. “I love you Alan. I, I miss you so much.” Letting the tears fall freely while remembering their time together; The shy flirting on the SR1, the night before Ilos, the lunch date on the Citadel, and more. As the room grows quieter, he can hear someone nearby. Wiping his eyes and clearing his throat he turns to see Cortez standing back a distance waiting. 

Cortez can see Kaidan’s bloodshot eyes clearly and his heart goes out to the Major. In a quiet compassionate tone, “I wanted you to know how special the Commander was to me too. I don’t know if the Commander told you, but I lost my husband on Ferris Fields about a year ago.” Kaidan shakes his head yes, “So, you know I’ve been where you are. It’s not easy and it hurts like hell.” Steve steps closer to Kaidan and puts a hand on his shoulder, “You’re not alone in this Sir. Shepard was there for me when I needed someone, I know he’d want me to help you now.” 

Kaidan heard what Steve said this morning to Garrus, but decides now isn’t the time to confront Cortez. Looking back at the wall, “You know, I keep dreaming he’s still alive. That he somehow made it out alive and is on Earth waiting for me.” Taking a deep shaky breath, “But, but then wouldn’t that be worse? I’m mean, he’d be going through the same hell I am; The uncertainty, the worrying, the pain of being alone. I just want him back.” Blowing his nose into a tissue, “Steve, give me some time alone. Please.”

Cortez expression softens, “Come up when you feel like it, Sir.” Cortez turns to walk towards the ladder leading to the CIC level.

 

##### 2015 Hours

As Kaidan approaches the Conference Room, he immediately notes the group of people gathering around the conference table looking at a Hologram of Shepard. Many were sitting on the floor, others have pulled some chairs or boxes to use as seats, and one was sitting on the edge of the table. Kaidan started at the holo, after a few moments he looked away, his head filling with memories of the commander. 

Garrus noticed Kaidan from across the room. "Kaidan, come here" Immediately all eyes turn to Kaidan. Garrus holds up the cup in his hand, "Come have a drink. We were just talking about the Commander." 

"Well, that's pretty obvious, huh?" James interrupted pointing at the hologram. Most of the people laughed, others just gave a smirk, while Kaidan remained silent. 

"Here" Samantha stood up "Have a seat, since no one else seems to giving up on their seats, I'll just sit on the floor" She smiles while Kaidan sits down, tears stinging his eyes as he contemplates his dead lover's face while the rest of the group continues talking.

Dr. Chakwas pulls her chair next to Kaidan's and leaned over to the Major's ear "I think this will suit you just fine, Kaidan." She whispers "It’ll help you to relax" As she pours Kaidan a class of wine. She leans back, taking a sip at her own glass of wine. 

Kaidan remained silent, exploring the crowded room with his eyes. Liara was sitting next to Javik, probably talking about the odds of fixing the QEC, Garrus had his left arm wrapped around Tali while holding a glass of dextro-brandy and Tali was drinking as well. “Tali, how are you drinking?” Kaidan asks the Quarian 

Tali’s speech is already slurred, “Ahh see… I use this Emergency Induction Port to draw up the liquids.” Tali turns to show Kaidan the port connection to her suit but stumbles and Garrus catches her with his free arm and sits her back down. “Shepard once told me that… hic… It’s called a ‘straw’ but I like Emergency Induction m’Port better. . . hic. . . ” 

A smirk came to Kaidan’s mouth as the Quarian finishes the sentence. He raises his glass of wine to Tali in a toast. 

“Alright!” Garrus says loudly, obviously he’s also had plenty to drink. “Since we’re all gathered here now, I shall say a few words about the Commander” The crowded room grows silent. Anxiously waiting for the Turian to give his speech. Kaidan returns his gaze to the hologram, a sudden knot begins to take form in the Major’s chest as Garrus starts his speech.

“Shepard was one hell of a soldier, we all know that, He never gave up, He made the impossible happen and not in just a single occasion.” Kaidan fights to keep control of his emotions as Garrus carries on, “But this time he pulled off a big one, the biggest one ever!! In London we promised each other that if one of us didn’t make it, we’d save a seat at the bar in Heaven for the other.” The Turian looks up toward the ceiling, “I know you’re raising hell up there Shepard, just remember to save me that seat.” After a few moments he sits down as Tali beings to stand up.

Tali nearly stumbles again and Garrus reaches to help, “I can do this on my own, you know?” She says in her slurring voice, ”May I propose a little toast?.. hic.. For all the friends that we have lost, for every name written on that wall, for every memory we can’t face, and for all the decisions that have hurt the most. Remember the fallen for they live on within each of us.” 

Everyone in the room is remembering all the people that they’ve lost over the course of the Reaper War. Most everyone has tears in their eyes and many quiet sobs can be heard. Kaidan’s face is covered in tears again, he can’t hold them back anymore, the knot in his chest growing into sobs. Dr Chakwas leans over to him and puts her arm around him in a hug, “You’re not alone in this, Kaidan. We’re all here for you.”


	5. Day 6

##### \- 0130 Hours - 

Shepard’s wake has been going for hours, most everyone has already gone to bed but a few remain around the Conference Room all in various states of inebriation. James and Javik are talking quietly by the door leading into the War Room, Joker and Dr. Chakwas are both dozing at the far end of the table from where Kaidan, Garrus, and Tali are sitting. 

Garrus is recounting the Citadel sharp-shooting match with Shepard, “. . . So then he says, ‘Good thing you’re here, never know when the bottles will revolt’.” Next to Garrus is Tali who is passed out, her head resting on the table, her breathing, audible through her suit, is slow and steady.

Kaidan smiles at his friend, “You know Garrus, he told me he missed on purpose.” Garrus scoffs at the remark while Kaidan looks down into his empty glass. He remembers having many servings of wine before someone handed him a bottle of an American Bourbon. A nasty tasting swill but, at least for now, it is serving the purpose of drowning his sorrows. Looking up he sees the room is spinning around himself. He turns a bit too abruptly to a noise at his right, making him dizzy and his vision blurs for a moment before refocusing on Garrus' face. “Uh, wha? ” 

Garrus, also tipsy from drinking too much, repeats himself, “I said, I’m taking Tali to bed and you should get some sleep too, Major.” He carefully stands up, holding onto the conference table for support before turning to shake Tali awake. In his stupor he shakes the table nearly as much as he does Tali. 

Joker is also awakened by the the disturbance. With bloodshot eyes he looks for his bottle of bourbon, which he had passed to Kaidan awhile ago. The empty bottle is tipped over next to Kaidan. Jeff notices everyone is leaving and turns to Dr. Chakwas, “Looks like the party is over Doc, want to help me back down to the Crew Deck?” 

She’s consumed half a bottle of brandy tonight and is half asleep, her left hand is holding up her head as she dozes. Jeff reaches out and touches her shoulder and she awakens with a yawn. With a drowsy voice, “Yes Jeff, I think it is time for us to go.” 

While the others are rousing, Kaidan stumbles to the doorway and in a drunken voice, “G’night everyone.” Bidding everyone farewell he continues down the passage toward the ladders in CIC. Failing to duck his head, he smacks it against the frame of the entryway. Dazed by the hit he leans against the ladder holding his head in both hands. “Oh God, why did I drink so much?” He thinks to himself. Checking his hand for blood and finding none he proceeds to climb up to Shepard’s room. Stumbling into the room, he collapses onto the bed without even taking off his shoes, falling asleep almost before his head hits the pillow. 

Outside the Normandy a thunderstorm rages and a heavy rain falls on the hull. Lightning illuminates the night with a strobing light showing images of gusts knocking the nearby trees back-and-forth. Some of the trees snap from the violence of the near hurricane force winds spreading debris throughout the area. Inside the Normandy, Kaidan remains oblivious to the storm’s commotion outside and doesn’t budge as his sleep gives way to dreams. 

The fish tank’s bluish light illuminates Shepard’s smiling face as he rolls Kaidan under him in a warm embrace. Kaidan still in the blissful afterglow of their lovemaking, his implants continuing to pulse with energy activating his biotic glow. The biotic charge sends tingles down both their spines. Shepard’s hand gently caressing his lovers chest as he leans in for another kiss. “Mmm, I bet they never imagined our implants would be used for that, Kaidan.” 

Kaidan’s eyes twinkle with the memory, “Probably not, but we are trained to work in tandem.” Moving his hand to rest on Shepard’s upper thigh. 

“Hmph, ‘Tandem’? Is that what its called these days?” Teasing Kaidan as he tickles the side of his ribcage. Kaidan squirms with delight, reaching behind Shepard’s neck to pull him down for a kiss. Just as their lips meet the intercom beeps breaking their mood. 

Thinking to himself, “I should have told EDI no interruptions.” Shepard rolls off Kaidan and sits on the side of the bed. Pressing the accept key and selecting audio-only, “This is Shepard.” 

Steve Cortez’s voice comes over the speaker, “Uh. Sorry to disturb you Commander. I need to see you when you've got a minute. It’s about the case of Arc Pistols the quarians sent us.” Irritation evident in his tone.

Alan gives Kaidan an apologetic look, “I’ll be down in twenty, Steve.” On his way to the shower, he collects the clothes he and Kaidan had spread around the room in their foreplay. 

Kaidan watches Shepard for a moment, “I’m a little jealous. Steve calls and you jump.” It was a joke but his voice said otherwise. 

Turning to reapproach the bed, “Kaidan, you know you’re the only man for me.” Shepard’s face a mix of concern and confusion. He’s unsure where this anxiety is coming from. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. Now you rest up, when I get back we’re going for round two.” With a twinkle in his eye, Alan leans over for a kiss before resuming his path to the bathroom, a few moments later the white noise of the shower helps Kaidan drift off to sleep. 

The elevator door opens into the darkened shuttle bay. Shepard walks out into the room, his footsteps echoing in the silent chamber. A cone of light near the shuttle illuminates Steve, he smiles. As Alan approaches they embrace, “I’m glad you here, Commander. I was getting lonely.” Steve opens the shuttle door and pulls Shepard in by the hand. In a sultry voice, “I have something for you to. . . inspect, Sir.” 

Kaidan’s Omnitool alarm springs to life pulling him out of the nightmare. His head is pounding, a migraine already in full swing, making him sensitive to the morning light streaming in from the skylight. Kaidan slowly rolls over to shield his eyes from the light, his entire body aches nearly as much as his head. Raising his left arm to check the time, 0530 Hours. “Fuck it!” He hits the snooze command and tries to relax and calm the migraine. The dream still very vivid and fresh in his mind, “Shepard and Cortez? It didn’t go down like that. . . Did it?” Recalling what he overheard Steve state yesterday, “. . . I could’ve seen myself falling for Shepard.” This line of thought is only worsening his migraine. The Omnitool alarm sounds again, Kaidan sighs as he carefully climbs out of bed to get ready for the day.

##### \- 0800 Hours - 

The storm last night has given way to a cloudy day, leaving the air hot and humid. James and Javik are leading a team clearing the debris and continuing to build a simple split-rail fence around the perimeter. 

Javik is looking more irritated than usual, “I don’t understand the purpose of this fence, Human. It will not protect the ship.” 

James looks over at Javik, “It’s about staking a claim, Javik. We have guns for protection. Once the fence is up we can make a few structures. I’m not the only one who doesn’t want to live in the ship forever.” Setting down a stack of wood poles, “Besides, have we found anything dangerous here yet?” 

Javik turns to face the jungle, “Not yet. You think the small creatures you capture are the extent of life on this planet?” 

“It’s actually a moon Javik.” Liara states as she walks toward the two with Kaidan, Cortez, and Private Campbell following Liara and Cortez both have a survey drone pack on their backs. Kaidan, Cortez, and Private Campbell are the scouting and gathering team today while Liara is planning on testing a software upgrade to her survey probe in the clearing. “We’re on a moon in orbit around a gas giant planet.”

Javik continues to look out at the nearby jungle, “The point stands Asari. There are dangers out there we do not yet know.” 

“Mr. Signs and Portents, aren’t you Javik?” Kaidan says as he rubs his temple with his left hand. Hoping the medicine Dr. Chakwas supplied would kick in soon to dull the edge off this migraine. His eyes bloodshot and skin a pale hue.

“You sure you want to go out today sir?” Private Campbell asks with concern.

Trying to put on a brave face, “It’s not the first migraine I’ve had, Private.” Kaidan knew this was one of the worst migraines he has ever endured though this one hasn’t debilitated him yet. The pain was making his implants feel. . . well, weird. Maybe it was the alcohol last night, maybe the stress, or maybe nothing. Whatever the reason, he didn’t feel right but it wasn’t good for morale to allow it to show. “Chakwas gave me some meds, they should kick in soon.” 

Looking for an excuse to change the subject, Kaidan looks over to James and Javik, “Good job on the clearing and the fence is looking great. Don’t forget to contact me if something comes up, Liara’s probes give us much greater comm range than just our Omnitools.” Turning his gaze to Cortez and Campbell, “As for us, let’s see if we can find another Turkey for tonight.” The “Turkey” in question didn’t look anything like the Earth bird of the same name and was too large to be called a chicken, but the meat did taste similar. “Let’s move out.” The trio set off on their mission.

#####  -1000 Hours - 

James is covered in mud as he clears rocks and debris out of the fence line. Some of the rocks are fairly flat and smooth and will make good paver stones, so he sorts them out while he works. One in particular was nearly perfectly rectangular and flat. Muttering to himself, “This will make a good stepping stone.” 

A few meters away, and equally covered in mud, is Private Eldridge, “Sir? I didn’t catch that.” 

James stands up to stretch his back, “I said I’m sick of this mud.” As he looks over to Eldridge, “That and this stone will make a good step into the cottage I want to build.” Moving the stone in question over to his holding pile he returns to work. 

With her Omnitool activated, Liara is still making adjustments to the new version of her survey probe as she slowly walks the perimeter toward James. Speaking into her Omnitool, “Alright Glyph, the X-Ray sensor must be damaged, it keeps drifting out of alignment no matter what we do. I’ll ask Tali to look at it later. Let’s test the ground penetrating radar next.” 

Over the Omnitool Glyph acknowledges the instructions, “Noted. Switching modes. . . now.” The survey drone moves to hover just above the ground and turns its main eye pointing directly down. Liara’s Omnitool opens a new display showing the radar penetrating half-a-meter into the ground. Liara continued walking the perimeter and adjusting the sensor to clear up the data feeds. Absentmindedly, she trips on Jame’s pile of paver stones falling on her side. 

Javik appears at her side helping her up, “Asari were not so clumsy in my cycle.” 

James also looks over and seeing that she’s ok beings to laugh, “Sorry Doc, but that was funny. You’re OK, right?” 

Feeling foolish, she can’t help but laugh at herself, “I’m fine thanks. I guess I was too focused on the sensor data instead of where I was walking.” Dusting herself off she notices the stepping stone that James put aside a few hours ago. The sunlight had dried much of the mud and Liara’s fall had knocked a portion loose exposing some carvings. “What’s this?” 

“Oh that’s a stone, I found. I’m going to use it as a stepping stone into a cottage I want to build.” James says with some pride. 

“You most certainly will not! That’s not just a natural stone, it’s a tablet. Look at those carvings.” James and Javik look at the stone their faces unsure. “Soldiers. Where did you find this? Was there more like it?” 

“You’re the scientist, so whatever you say Doc. No, that’s the only one I found and it was over there by the fence line.” Pointing to the section of fence they’d just finished putting together. 

“I’ll have to scan then clean this. See if I can recognise the language. Maybe find out where we are.” Liara’s mind began running at full speed. “Help me move this out of the way please.” James approaches to help her move the tablet into the shade of the Normandy. 

Out in the jungle Kaidan’s head feels as if it is going to explode, the migraine had never subsided and his implant continued to feel wrong. The pain was making him sweat, but it was so hot that everyone else was too, so the others didn’t notice. 

On the plus side, the last trap they checked did indeed have a Turkey and they gathered a good batch of berries and fruits. The storm ruined two other traps and the fruit tree directly in front of trio. One of the larger trees had been split by a lightning strike and partially collapsed on top of the smaller fruit tree. 

Campbell and Steve are picking the fruit off the last remaining large branch, while Kaidan made a note of the destroyed tree before joining in to help. “A few more and this bag will be full Steve.” 

Steve is reaching for a piece of fruit, “Ok, I’ll get this last one then we should be. . . .” Just then the branch shifts with a loud crack knocking Steve down. Campbell turns to help but there is nothing she can do as the falling trunk crashes down and pins Steve. Kaidan comes running over and tries to help Campbell lift the trunk off Steve’s chest. “I. . . . I can’t breathe.” 

They try, but the trunk is too heavy for them to lift. Campbell turns to Kaidan, “Can’t you use your biotics to lift it?!” 

Kaidan retorts,“I’m a Sentinal not a full Adept.” Looking down on Steve’s face Kaidan is taken back to his dream that morning, to the question he never dared ask, “Shepard, did you and Steve ever. . . ?” Campbell shaking him back to present.

“Major?!” She looks perplexed at Kaidan’s inaction. 

Regaining himself, Kaidan tries to use his implant to lift the trunk. It won’t activate, instead sending a spike of pain and making his vision blur. “I’m trying.” The pain worsening his migraine making his heart pump rapidly and adrenaline flow through his veins. Using cryo-blast on the trunk and pulling his pistol, through gritted teeth, “Get ready to pull him loose.” Taking a deep breath he tries to activate his implant again, this time pushing himself harder than ever before. Feeling the implant charge and activate. Three quick pistol shots hit the trunk square above Cortez as his vision goes black. 

Kaidan’s pistol shots hit shattering the trunk enough for Campbell to pull Cortez loose. Steve gasps out a thanks and catches his breath, while she rummages through the pack for the medkit. After a few greedy gulps for air, he turns to thank Kaidan, who is sprawled out on the ground, convulsing. "Major!" Steve struggles to his feet, but the commotion has caught Campbell's attention, and she is the first to reach him.

Kaidan is unconscious his lips turning blue and his whole body is shaking. Steve finally gets on his feet and approaches, “What the hell is going on?” 

Campbell has seen this before, “My younger brother has Epilepsy. He’s having a seizure.” She kneels down, cushioning Kaidan’s head and turns to Steve, “Get on the comm to the Normandy. The Major needs medical help.” 

Cortez raises his hand to his right ear to activate his Omnitool communicator, the survey drone was damaged, but the Omnitool’s onboard comm may have the range, “Cortez to Normandy! Major Alenko needs medical assistance, come in Normandy.” 

After a few seconds, “This is Doctor Chakwas. What happened?”

Steve kneels back down next Kaidan, “We think he’s having a seizure. He was shaking just a moment ago but now he’s stopped.” Campbell is turning Kaidan onto his side lifting his knee up into a fetal position. 

Over the comm, “What is his current condition?”

Campbell has done all she can for the moment. She turns to talk into Steve’s Omnitool, “It must have started right after he used his implant. He said he was having troubles activating it. Anyhow, the seizure and convulsions have stopped and I’ve turned him onto his side. He’s still unconscious but breathing fine and his lips are returning to normal color.” 

Over the comm they can hear talking in the background but can’t make out any words. After a few moments Dr Chakwas voice returns, “We’ve got your position and are sending help, keep me informed if his condition changes. Normandy out.”


	6. Day 6: Continued

**1400 Hours -**  
Dr Karen Chakwas examines the data display before administering another dose of medicine. Kaidan remains unconscious on one of the examination beds, sensors on his chest and temples connect to a medical monitor showing his vitals and brain activity. She pauses a few moments to be sure the vitals remain stable. Karen wishes the Medical VI was functional, the diagnosis would have been completed by now. She’s done the best she can to keep the med-bay as fully functional and clean as possible, but there is patch cables and other miscellaneous equipment hanging out of missing ceiling panels.  
  
Hearing the door open she turns to see Javik entering. He’s dodging around some conduit that is hanging out of the ceiling, the tray he’s carrying contains a sandwich and some fruit, “I was told to bring you lunch.” Placing the tray on the Doctor’s’ desk, he tilts his head toward the examination beds, “How is the Human?”  
  
Chakwas turns with a heavy sigh, resting against the exam bed across from Kaidan, and looks back back over at her patient, “He’s stable, I’ve kept him sedated while I examine his condition. I’m still unsure what caused the Meningitis near his implant. It could be viral, bacterial, or complications from his earlier confrontation with Eva on Mars. I’ll know more once the tests are completed.” She walks back over to Kaidan’s side looking at the monitor again, “Meanwhile I’ve administered drugs to help reduce the swelling and disabled his implant.”

  
“I’ve seen him fight Reapers.” Javik approaches Kaidan’s side, “Even in my cycle, he would have been considered a strong soldier. Sad to see him die in his sleep.”

Karen scoffs, “Die?! He’s not dead yet, Javik. The swelling isn’t that bad and once I find the cause I can hopefully administer proper treatment.” Facing Javik with a stern face, “At this time, there is a good chance he’ll make a full recovery.”

Javik shakes his head, “Then there may still be fight left in him.” walking back to her desk he picks up a piece of fruit, “I was told to make sure you eat.” He tosses the fruit to her as he leaves the room.

Chakwas looks at the space Javik just vacated, she’s perplexed by him. In a poor mimick of Javik’s voice, “In my cycle. . . hmph!” she chuckles as she turns to her lunch for another piece of fruit.

 **\--**  
With the Major still in the med-bay Steve wanted to keep his mind busy, he decided that cleaning up the armory area sounded like a good idea. The armory took less damage in the crash than the rest of the shuttle bay but four of the armor locker doors were torn from their hinges plus more than a few storage boxes were split open. Cortez is picking over the scattered armor and other items, sorting them into different cartons.

His back starting to form a kink, Steve decides to take a break from his work, he stands to stretch out his muscles and take a few slow deep breath. While stretching, he turns to reexamine the damage to the room.

The main shuttle door had buckled inward during the crash. allowing rocks and other debris to litter the chamber. The entire front quarter of the room is now filled with earthen rubble. Adding insult to injury, the Kodiak was badly damaged by a large chunk of granite that crushed the port-side mass effect engine among many other less severe damages. Kaidan, Steve, and Engineer Adams have discussed ideas to dig out and repair the bay, but with the damage to the shuttle, the project hasn’t been a priority. Steve still believes the shuttle could be repaired but it wouldn’t be easy.

James comes out of the ladder passage and notices that Steve hasn’t heard him. With a sly grin he quietly approaches, “What are you doing Esteban?” Purposely startling Steve, who nearly jumps out of his skin. James can’t stop laughing but now feels bad.

“Fuck, Vega, you scared the hell out of me!” Steve cries out, but the look on his face lacks the anger in his voice. James’ laughter is contagious and Steve soon joins in too. He manages to get “You bastard.” in between spasms of laughter.

James gets himself under control, “Sorry Esteban, I heard you were down here and thought I’d drop by and see what you were doing.”

“I’m just cleaning up the armory area, some of the lockers broke open and now there is crap everywhere. Plus, I wanted to get an inventory of our thermal clips and. . . ”

James interrupts, “And keep your mind busy.” Seeing the confirmation in Steve’s eyes, “Doc says he should be OK. Think of all the times she’s patched us up after a tango with the Reapers.” James is trying to convince himself as much as he is Steve.

Cortez looks levelly at James, “You weren’t the one trapped under that trunk, James. . . ”

James holds up both hands to stop Steve mid-sentence, “We’re marines! Are you telling me if Kaidan was the one trapped you wouldn’t. . . ”

Taking his turn to Interrupt, “Of course I would have! That doesn’t mean I don’t feel guilty regardless.” Steve takes a deep breath and looks down at the floor. Continuing before James speaks, “I know, and nothing you can say will change the fact that I do feel guilty. It’s just who I am.”

“Esteban, you wouldn’t be the man you are if you didn’t.” James remembers the guilt that weighed Steve down when he lost his husband. It was just a few short months ago that Shepard helped Steve overcome that guilt. The change in Steve’s attitude was wonderful to see and he was worried that with Shepard dead and Kaidan hurt that Steve would again be assuming too much guilt. “I just want you to know I’m here for you. I-- I wasn’t before when I should have been.” James stammers a bit, “You’re my friend, and I care, and just wanted to see if I could help.” Turning a little red he holds out his hand.

Steve smiles reaches out to shake his friend's hand, “Thanks James, I care about you too. Really, I was just puttering about but the company is welcome.” Looking at the clutter around them, “Maybe we can make a dent in this mess.” The two dig into their work.

\--  
One deck up from Steve & Cortez the engineering staff was deep into their own work on the reactor. The Tantalus drive core was beyond their local repair capacity, but the backup reactor was well on the way to reactivation. The Engineering team had spent much of the last few days repairing the coolant system, Ken is making the final welds to a pump assembly while Gabby is running a new control interface line to the primary thermal sensor array.

Engineer Adams is running a cross check on the coolant system before today’s pressure test. His face takes on a less-than-happy look and he turns his head toward the engineering team, “How’s that repair going, Ken?”

“Oy, it’s going.” Ken looks slightly disgusted, “This pump manifold is jerry-rigged but should hold until we can get a proper replacement built. I’ll be done in ten, Sir.”

Gabby pulls herself out from under the thermal sensor, “Last connection is in.”

Adams’ gaze returns to the display, “Let’s hope we’ll have good news to report to the Major tonight when he wakes up.” The team continues to double-check everything before their test.

\--  
Outside the Normandy the sun is full in the sky and stale hot humid air has replaced the morning breeze. In the shade of the Normandy’s wing, Liara is carefully cleaning the mud from the face of the Tablet that James found. Private Campbell is several meters away using the new Survey Drone to scan the clearing. She has programmed it with a basic search pattern, which feeds sensor results directly to her Omnitool

Liara has about half of the tablet cleaned and exposed much of the strange alien text that caught her eye that morning. “Glyph, run this text through the language database.” She scans her Omnitool over the tablet, “Check for any matches please.”

Glyph’s electronic voice crackles from her Comm, “Yes, Doctor T’soni.”

The connection closes for an instant before Campbell’s excited voice cuts in, “Liara, I think I found something.” The Private ties in her Omnitool with Liara’s. Over the speaker Campbell asks, “Do those look like more Tablets to you?” As Liara scrutinizes the data.

Campbell is out on the edge of the clearing, the survey drone hovering over the area in question. Over the Comm Liara responds, “No, the size is off, but they look to be in a regular pattern.” After a brief pause, “You know, they could be foundation stones. Concentrate on that area and keep me informed.” The communications channel closes and Campbell begins to program the drone with a new search pattern.

 

**1600 Hours -**

_The air on the Presidium, though fresher than in the Wards, still has the faint stench of the recent Cerberus coup attempt. Keepers are repairing the mess, but signs of the battle are not hard to find._

_Shepard and Kaidan are on the footbridge that spans the central lake, walking hand-in-hand toward the Relay statute. The Council decided to keep the fact that it was functional a secret, easy enough since the connection to Illos shut down. "I remember you crashing the Mako right about there, Shepard." Kaidan teases his lover with a smile and a elbow to the ribs._

_Shepard dodges the elbow and still holding Kaidan’s hand pulls him over to the rail in the shadow of the statue, “Crash?! Such a harsh term. The Mako wasn’t designed to fly you know.” He leans in for a deep kiss, “If you think I was hard on you in that geth dreadnought, just wait Mr. Alenko. My revenge will come.” Winking as he pinches Kaidan’s behind._

_Kaidan yelps and just as he’s about to retaliate, a voice in the distance breaking in on their private moment, “Commander Shepard?” It is the annoying reporter, Khalisah al-Jilani. Shepard growls softly while rolling his eyes. “Go back to the ship Kaidan, I’ll deal with her.” The news from Rannoch was still fresh and many questions on how the quarians and geth finally made peace is a hot topic. Taking a deep breath and putting on his best neutral “Commander Shepard” face, “Now go. I’ll meet you back on the Normandy.”_

_Kaidan looks into his eyes and admonishingly advices, “Alan, don’t lose your temper.” As Khalisah approaches, Kaidan knew better than start a scene, so gives his best salute to Shepard, turns and walks off avoiding the reporter. As he withdraws, he can hear the reporter jump full-speed into her questions to Shepard and his measured responses to her inquiries makes Kaidan smile, he hopes Shepard can keep his cool._

Kaidan remains lying on the examination bed with the same sensors and monitors surrounding him. Dr Chakwas watches him while he’s sleeping, wondering what he’s dreaming about, the slight smile on his face gives her hope it’s a happy dream. Behind her the door into the med-bay opens and Sick Bay Attendant Housley enters approaching Dr Chakwas, “Doctor, I have the pathology test results.”

Taking the offered pad, “Thank you Mr. Housley.” Quickly scanning the results. “So it is bacterial, but a unknown strain. Hmm.” With no comms online, they are limited to the on-board databases. “Have you consulted with Liara?”

“Yes Ma’am, she had Glyph run through her databases as well. No matches were found.” Glad he thought of it himself before returning with the results. As the Doctor continues to scan the results he interjects with the good news, “The test shows that Beta-Oxazolidinone is effective.”

“I was just reading that section. Good work.” She approaches a storage cabinet and begins pulling out supplies, “Please get me a bag of 1000mg of Beta-Oxazolidinone while I get the IV ready.”

_Kaidan wakes into blackness with muddled voices echoing in the darkness. The throbbing in his head making it hard to concentrate. After a moment, he notes a faint light in the direction of the voices. Reaching out he slowly stands and begins to carefully move toward the light._

Dr Chakwas cut off the anesthesia about ten-minutes ago. She’s monitoring Kaidan’s brain waves which are now near normal, “He should start to wake soon.” Turning to SBA Houseley, ”There is still swelling near the implants, he’s going to have one hell of a headache.”

Houseley agrees with a shake of his head, “Do you think we should keep him here in the med-bay tonight?”

Chakwas gives him a non-committal look, “I'll recommend it but, knowing Kaidan, he’ll want to sleep upstairs.”

_Midway down the dark hall, he can hear Shepard’s voice. The words a jumbled mess at first but some become clear, “. . . Kaidan, you’ve got to fight. . . …It’s hard to see you like this. . . ” Shepard’s voice becoming more clear, he tries to increase his pace. “. . . Come on Kaidan, fight. . . …I need you. . . ” The light brightening around him and with it his migraine intensifies as well. He stumbles and falls to the ground with a groan. The room continues to get brighter. Rolling onto his back he sees a silhouette of a man standing over him, it looks like Shepard, “. . . You need anything Doc, let me know.” It is Shepard and Kaidan reaches out his hand as the room continues brighting to an blinding level._

With a moan, Kaidan opens his eyes. Though the room’s lighting is dim to conserve power, the light is still irritating his migraine. He sees someone standing next to his bed but can’t see the face, “Shepard?” He groans out weakly.

“He’s awake Doctor.” turning back to Kaidan, “Welcome back Major you gave us a scare. I’m SBA Housley, Doctor Chawkas is coming.”

His eyes adjusting he can see he’s in the med-bay, but it’s a mess, conduits sticking out of the ceiling, lighting --thankfully-- on dim emergency lighting. Something is wrong but he can’t remember what, “Why are we on emergency power? What happened? Where’s Shepard?”


	7. Day 6 "Amnesia"

##### -I-

“Take it easy, Major.” Doctor Chakwas reassures Kaidan, “We’ll take it slow; I’m sure you’ve got a terrible headache.” She steps up next to his bed and lays a comforting hand on his forearm. “Are you hungry or thirsty? You’ve been asleep for hours.” 

Kaidan shakes his head refusing. She consults a display above Kaidan’s bed for a moment, “Very well, but you will eat something soon.” She softens her voice, “What’s the last thing you remember?” 

Kaidan concentrates for a moment, “Rannoch. We escaped the geth base with a Reaper chasing us. Shepard got out to fight the Reaper alone.” A slight smile lights his face, “He stood up to a Destroyer alone and killed a Reaper on foot!” As more memories seem to come back, “Then Shepard got the quarians and geth to make peace.” Confusion spreads across his face, “And then. . . I don’t. . . ” The absence of the near-subliminal thrumming of the Normandy’s engines prompts him to recall his earlier questions, “What’s going on? Where’s Shepard?!” 

With concern in her eyes, “It appears you’ve got a mild case of amnesia, Kaidan.” In her best compassionate tone, “It’s likely temporary, so don’t worry. The Rannoch mission was almost two months ago and many things have changed.” 

SBA Houseley wheels over a cart with several medical instruments laid out neatly. “Major, I need to run a few other tests.” Chakwas picks up the first device, “This won’t hurt a bit.” As she activates the scanner. 

 

##### -II-

The armory is in much better shape now. One large boulder remains blocking the last set of damaged lockers. Most of their contents had been scattered when the top half of the doors was torn open in the crash. James and Steve are using a large pipe, as a lever, to roll the stone out of the way. Grunting as he puts all his force into it, “Come on Esteban, put your back into it.” Teasing Cortez as the rock finally rolls out of the way. 

“I was too busy admiring your muscles, Mr Vega.” Steve shoots back slightly out-of-breath while pulling the locker door open. Inside he finds several of Shepard’s spare armor pieces; among them, a Serrice Council chest piece, Kassa leg armor, and also finds a data pad, “Hmm, I wonder what’s on here.” He thumbs the power switch, but the energy cell is empty. 

James pulls over the cart with the sorting containers they’ve been using. “Maybe Loco was writing your performance review.” Tapping Steve on the shoulder, with a pair of Hahne-Kedar gloves he picked up, before setting them into the storage container. 

Steve rolls his eyes at James and sets the pad on a charger, “We’ll find out soon enough.” Returning to the lockers, the two continue their cleaning and sorting. 

 

##### -III-

“There, the last test is complete.” She deactivates the last medical probe “I told you it wouldn’t hurt.” Consulting the results for a moment, “Very good. The anti-biotics & anti-inflammatories are reducing your swelling. How are you feeling?” 

Kaidan’s temper is getting short, only tiny memory fragments keep coming to him. Frustrated that the memories he wants to access keep eluding him and it is aggravating his migraine. Nothing the doctor has given him has curbed the pain yet. Sitting up, he decides to try using the breathing techniques he’s learned to calm himself with slow even breaths. Rubbing his temple absentmindedly, he suddenly looks up, “London! We were in London.” 

Watching Kaidan closely, Chakwas asks, “What do you remember about London?”

With a furrow at his brow, “Reapers. The devastation was terrible! Hordes of Banshees, Brutes, Husks, and other abominations. A white beam going up into the sky.” Closing his eyes to concentrate, “The beam was important, we had to get to it!” 

Cautiously she asks, “Do you remember Thessia?” 

After a pause, “Kai Leng. The bastard ambushed us and got away with. . . something important. Some. . . The Citadel! It was moved to Earth and the beam! It was connected to the Citadel!” A grimace crosses his face as the migraine spikes. Taking a deep breath he looks up at Dr. Chakwas with a question in his eyes and a cautious brow, “You’re talking about everything but Shepard.” He finally gets the courage to ask the question she dreads to answer, “You won’t tell me because he’s dead, isn’t he?” 

Evading a direct answer, “The war is over, the Reapers have been defeated. Shepard saved us all.” Chakwas can see the pain in Kaidan’s face, the wound freshly ripped open by his returning memories. “I’m so sorry, Kaidan.” Taking his hand into hers, “Joker held out as long as he could waiting to rescue him.” Wishing she could comfort him somehow as the tears well in his eyes. 

 

##### -IV-

Tali climbs out of the ladder shaft, looking around she’s amazed how great the Armory looks. Over by the weapon modding bench, James is sweeping the floor, “It’s nice to see you know how to use a broom.” Taunting him as she walks deeper into the room. 

“Tali, be nice to Mr Vega.” Steve admonishes from the back corner of the room where he’s storing the equipment they picked up. “He may startle and flee, you know.” 

“So, you two are teaming up against me now?” James laughs, “I’ll give you something to flee from, Esteban.” Playfully tossing a small rock toward Steve. “So Tali, are you down here just to insult me, or is there a purpose to your auspicious visit?” 

Tali chuckles, “Two reasons. The good news is that Kaidan is awake now.” She quickly explains about the memory loss, “Also that dinner is ready.” Looking at Steve, “Westmoreland and Copeland made a soup with the chicken you guys caught today.” 

“Great, I’m starving! Come on Steve.” James says excitedly.

A chirp draws Steve’s attention, “I’ll just be a minute, I want to check out this data-pad.” Steve approaches the table where the pad has been charging. 

Piquing Tali’s curiosity, she steps over to stand by Steve, “Where did you find it?” 

As Cortez toggles the power switch, “It was in Shepard’s locker.” After a brief startup screen the pad’s menu appears. Steve selects an innocent sounding file named, “About Horizon”. Out of the speaker comes Kaidan’s voice, the text scrolling on the pad’s display; “Shepard, I’m sorry for what I said back on Horizon. I spent two years putting myself back together after you went down with the Normandy. It took me a long time to get over my guilt. . . “ Steve stops the message looking a little embarrassed. “I didn’t realize that’d be a personal file.” 

Returning to the list of documents and changing display mode for more details, “It looks like most of these are messages between Kaidan and Shepard.” paging down, “The newest file is from Shepard to Kaidan.” Pausing for a moment, “It’s titled, ‘If I don’t make it’.” Steve shuts off the pad, feeling like he violated their privacy. “This is too personal to leave down here, I’m going to take this pad up to their cabin.” Turning to the others, “Then I’ll join you guys for dinner.” 

The trio head out of the Armory to their separate destinations.

 

##### -V-

Meanwhile, a pale-faced Kaidan is standing in front of the memorial wall with Dr Chakwas. “I want him back.” Wiping tears from his eyes, “I want to believe he would have found a way.” As he takes a bite of the protein bar she’s making him eat. 

“You know that he would have tried his best, Kaidan.” Karen says softly as she runs a new med-scan with her Omnitool. “It was easy to believe he was invincible, almost immortal, that he’d always pull through while dragging the rest of us with him.” She’s happy the treatments she gave him have continued working and that more of his memories continue to return.

He shakes his head in agreement, “I know; I remember him ordering me and Garrus back onto the Normandy.” Taking a sip of juice from his bottle, “I should never have left him.” Putting his hand up to Shepard’s picture taking a deep breath. “My world is a smaller place without you Alan.”

Returning to her primary concern, “Major, I’d still like you to stay in med-bay tonight.” She knows she’s unlikely to talk him into it but she wanted to try one last time. 

“Doc, we’ve been over this.” Kaidan turns away from the wall to look at her, “I know you’re worried but I’m going. . . ” Pausing to point to the wall behind him, “No. I need to sleep in our cabin tonight. I’ll keep the the medical monitor on and I promise I’ll contact you if anything changes.”

Knowing she lost the argument, she concedes, “Alright, I’ve got the monitor set to alert me.” Pointing to the bar in his hand, “But you aren’t going anywhere Mister, until you finish that bar.” She can see that Kaidan agrees to the compromise as he takes a bite and gives her a faint smile. 

 

##### -VI-

Steve clears the last rung of the ladder up to the Captain's Cabin. Pausing in front of the door for a moment thinking of the only time he’d been up here; It was enroute to Grissom Academy. Shepard was working on the mission plan and needed details on the Kodiak's stealth capabilities. Recalling the ribbing that James gave him afterward, “Was the Commander pleased with your stealth capabilities, Esteban?” Making him laugh even now. 

Opening the door Cortez enters the cabin to drop off the pad. Walking up to Shepard’s desk looking for an open charge dock, but the desk is covered with model parts and other clutter. 

On the CIC deck, Kaidan approaches the ladder to Shepard’s cabin. From above he hears a noise, as he starts climbing he wonders who would be up there. 

As Kaidan enters the cabin, he notices Steve with a data pad rifling through Shepard’s desk. Looking at him brings a fuzzy memory of Steve saying he wanted Shepard and was jealous of Kaidan. 

Still holding the pad, Steve hears Kaidan clear throat behind him. Stepping toward Kaidan, “Oh Major, I--” 

Kaidan throws a surprise right-cross, knocking Steve down the steps by the fish tank. “You couldn’t have Shepard, so you thought you could come up here and steal his memory from me?” His eyes blazing with anger. 

Steve is totally taken aback by the assault and confused by the accusation. In his surprise he drops the pad as he stumbles down the steps and lands on his back, the wind knocked out of him. Before he can catch his breath, Kaidan pounces; pressing his knee into Steve’s chest, painfully expelling the remaining air from of his lungs. 

“What were you looking for?” Seeing the incomprehension on Steve’s face did nothing to diminish his blinding fury, “I know what you said, you didn’t think I heard you, but I know you wanted to take Shepard from me.” Kaidan picks Steve up by the front of his shirt and slams him into the plating covering the fish tank. 

Wheezing, “Major, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I only--” Steve breaks free and dodges out of the way of Kaidan’s fist. He doesn’t want to strike his commanding officer so he begins to retreat to the exit, “I wasn’t stealing anything!” Blocking another blow only to be hit by a kidney punch. 

“Get the fuck out of here!” Kaidan shoves Steve toward the exit, “I don’t want you in my sight.”

Steve stumbles toward the door. He spots the pad on the floor, daring not to pick it up, he points to it, “That pad is for you. Sir.” His nose bleeding he leaves the Major alone to his anger. 

 

##### -VII-

Hoping that Garrus could get him to eat more than just a protein bar, Doctor Chakwas asked him to take a small container of tonight’s soup up to Kaidan. He finds Steve just exiting the ladder shaft into the CIC deck, his nose bloody and a bruise forming on his face. “Lieutenant?”

Steve still confused by the fight, but slightly embarrassed as well, quickly explains about the pad and how Kaidan got the wrong impression.

Carefully clasping Steve’s shoulder, “I’ll talk to him Cortez. You go get cleaned up.” Garrus remembers the conversation yesterday, but obviously Kaidan has it completely out of context. He watches as Steve begins climbing down to the crew deck, satisfied that he doesn’t need to help, Garrus turns to the other ladder to climb up stairs. 

Through the open door, Garrus observes Kaidan pacing the cabin, his clenched fists and furrowed brow obvious signs his temper was not yet under control. Garrus knocks on the door frame to attract Kaidan’s attention. 

Kaidan’s eyes lock onto the Turian like lasers, in a slow growl, “Not now Garrus.” 

Garrus notices the pad and bends to pick it up. Asking softly, “Major, who do you think Steve was talking to yesterday?” He can see Kaidan is still flushed with anger. “I know your memory is still returning. How much of that conversation do you really recall?” 

Kaidan looks away from Garrus, taking a slow deep breath, a chagrined look replacing the anger on his face, “I wasn’t even sure when he said it.” His eyes shift to the pad Garrus picked up, the same pad that Cortez pointed to, “What’s on that pad?” 

Refusing to get distracted, “He was talking to me, Kaidan.” Garrus’ voice softening, “He wasn’t trying to steal Shepard from you, he was happy for you both.” Taking a few more steps into the room and handing the pad to Kaidan, “Steve found this while cleaning up the Armory. It’s a message, one I think you should listen to it in private.” Garrus turns to leave the room. 

“Garrus wait. I. . . ” Kaidan takes a breath and fidgeting with the pad in his hands, “I lost control. My condition is no excuse for what I did.” Embarrassment in his voice and regret in his eyes, “Will you go check on Cortez for me? I know he was holding back and I hope I didn’t hurt him too bad.” 

“Listen to your message Major.” Turning to leave the room, “I’ll check on the Lieutenant for you. Tomorrow, you can apologize to him yourself.” The last sentence sounding like a command. 

Kaidan walks over to sit on the edge of the bed, staring at the pad in his hands for several moments, afraid of what he’ll find. Finally, he toggles the power switch, Steve had set the pad to activate Shepard’s message automatically. 

The power cycle completes and Shepard appears on the display, his face haggard, eyes bloodshot from crying and obvious lack of sleep, _“Kaidan, first I want you to know I love you and I always have ever since we first met on the SR1. Today when I watched the records of what Cerberus did to me, I, well, I’m glad you were there. What you said. . . ” Choking up for a moment, “You give me strength, Kaidan, far more than I could ever muster alone. Now that we’re finally headed to Earth, I want, more than anything, to keep you safe.” An ironic sob, “But where is safe in this damn war? Look, I’m going to fight like hell to get us both out of this war alive.” Taking a shaky deep breath, “But, I’ve told EDI to deliver this message to you if I. . . ” Shepard wipes tears from his eyes, “Well, I’m sorry I can’t be there with you. I hope the Crucible worked and the war is over. That you’re safe."_

Tears stream freely down both their faces as Shepard finishes, _“I’ll always love you Kaidan. Stay safe.”_ The playback ends. Kaidan curls on the bed sobbing, an emotional tsunami washing over him; The sweetness of hearing Alan’s voice made bitter by the weariness present in his speech and eyes. The anguish on his face, evidence of the inner-turmoil Shepard had hid, even from Kaidan. After several minutes, Kaidan wipes his eyes and selects the replay command. _“Kaidan, first I want you to know I love you. . . ”_

 

##### -VIII-

While re-filling his water glass, James observes a red-faced Steve make a beeline for the ladder downstairs. From behind him, comes Doctor Chakwas voice, “Well, something upset him, Houseley. His heart rate and adrenaline both spiked.” As she and SBA Housely head for the freshly vacated ladder. 

After a few moments, curiosity getting the better of him, he approaches the ladder just as Garrus climbs down, “What’s going on, Varkarian?” 

For a few heartbeats, Garrus’ nearly unreadable face stares back at him before answering, “Have you seen Lieutenant Cortez?” 

Confused on the subject change, pointing at the other ladder, “He went downstairs just a few moments ago--” 

Interjecting, “Maybe you should go find him.” James hasn’t known Garrus for long, but he swears there is concern in his voice, “Make sure he’s. . . unharmed.” Garrus sweeps past James on his way to the galley. Leaving him to his confusion.

“Unharmed?” he repeats to himself. Deciding to heed the advice, he turns toward the ladder downstairs.


	8. Day 7 - Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’d like to thank everyone who’s helped me write, edit, and contributed artwork. Jungle World, wouldn’t be what it is without your help. I’d also like to thank you readers out there who’ve followed the journey with me, I hope you enjoy the ride. Thank you for your kind reviews and PMs.

##### -I- 0000 Hours

James finds Steve in the shuttle bay behind the Kodiak, sitting next to a few bottles of liquor, from the still that Ken and Steve had setup months ago. Sitting down next to Cortez, "I didn't think the still survived." Picking up one of the full bottles. 

Steve shakes his shoulder. In a flat reply, "It was one of the lucky survivors." 

James takes a sip from his bottle. Wincing as the liquor burns all the way down to his stomach where it then threatens to go nova. Coughing and his voice hoarse, "Damn Esteban! I've tried some nasty liquor in my time but this?! What the hell is this?" 

Steve laughs, "Ken says it's scotch, well imitation scotch, something about proper grains and oak barrels" With a genuine smile, "Ken doesn't like it either. How’d he put it?, ‘Oy this is awful’, but he keeps drinking it anyway. Besides, after a few sips you become numb enough to tolerate it." 

Looking skeptical, James takes another sip, “Then, here’s to Ken’s ‘awful scotch’.” They clink their bottles together and drink in unison. Minutes pass in silence; He has difficulty finding the words, so he leans in to put a hand on Steve’s back. Steve reacts with a quick glance and a another swig of the bottle before quickly returning to his gaze on the floor. James finally spurts out; “You wanna talk about it?” 

Steve grudgingly looks towards James, “I’m not completely in the mood to talk.” His voice already slurring.

“I don’t think it’s healthy for you to just hold it in." Looking at the bruise on Steve's face, "I know what happened, or at least the gist of it. Can't believe Kaidan, hijo de puta! If I would have been there, I’d have kic--“ 

Steve interrupts firmly, “He didn’t mean it, James.” Softening his tone, “He wasn't in the right state of mind, he thought. . . ” Replaying the events in his head, “He thought I was trying to go through Shepard’s things.”

James gives him a dubious look, wry laugh “You have got to be kidding me?!”

“Really, James, don’t be mad at Kaidan.” Steve adds softly. “It was an accident, and I know he’ll realize it if he already hasn’t.”

James looks into Steve's eyes, he can’t help feeling protective, it overwhelms him when he thinks about it. This morning when hearing about Cortez being stuck under the tree, he got extremely worried. It wasn’t until he finally set his eyes on Steve that he calmed down. Shaking his head in agreement, he drops his grudge with Kaidan. 

James leans closer in to Steve, and gently caresses the bruise on his eye with his fingers, “That’s turned into one hell of a shiner, Esteban!” James says jokingly.

“Yeah? What do you care?” Steve scoffs. 

“Hey, I care a lot!” James replies harshly. “I care for you. . . " unsure again how to continue yet finally stammering, “I mean we’re. . . good friends. . . maybe. . .”

Steve is getting a little impatient, “Where are you going with this, Vega?” 

James stammers and slightly blushes. “I just, yanno, want you to know that I. . . I feel. . . I care for you." His face turning a darker red, "With the war and us being here. Things have happened, and I’ve gotten a little worried for you and. . . “ The image of Steve trapped under that branch suffocating intruding this thoughts. Shaking to clear his head, James continues in spurts. “If anything were to happen to you I’d. . . ” 

Steve is unsure where James is going, Is he hitting on me? Crossing his mind. He likes James and throughout their time battling the Reapers, and now on this lost planet, he’s grown very close to him. Yes, he has feelings for James, but what about James; is the feeling mutual?

While Steve is mulling over his thoughts, James is fighting a similar internal struggle. He’s so used to hiding his feelings behind jokes and never being sure how to express them, “Oh, I- it’s just, ah coño! No puedo hacer bien esta mierda!” Taking a deep breath, he stops his mumbling and looks at Steve. “It’s just, I- I don’t know what to say. This crap, I’ve never been that great at this, always coming off too strong. To try it with you, I. . . I don’t want to risk our friendship.” James flushing again.

Steve relaxes, maybe James does have similar feelings. “Try what, James? I don’t understand.” asking gently.

James takes a heavy breath. “I. . . think I feel. . . I’ve never felt this way about another man before and you aren’t just any other man to me. I've known you for so long and we're friends. The jokes we play, all harmless sure, but I know; I've used humor to deny my feelings for you. I want--" 

Steve leans over and cuts James off with a kiss. Catching James off guard, the kiss is -at best- clumsy, but as Steve pulls back they both smile and stare into each others eyes. The emotional barriers, the worry and anxiety, all instantly evaporate, leaving only their passion for each other. James, wraps Steve in his arms lifting him into his lap with ease, as their lips lock again, this time, in a slow and lustful kiss. His hands explore the body above him, his fingers follow the curve of Steve’s shoulder blade then continue down his spine to the small of Steve’s back. A blissful moan escaping both of them simultaneously. 

Playfully biting James’ lower lip as they break for air, he grabs James’ shirt in a fist and in a sultry voice, “Come with me.” Standing up, pulling a willing James along, he opens the shuttle door and they both climb in. Once inside, James pins Steve to the bulkhead wall and leans in for another kiss, while hastily unfastening Steve’s shirt then pulling off his own, two-sizes-too-small, t-shirt. 

Steve kisses James’ neck and ear with his mouth and tongue while his hands caress Vega’s body exploring his tight pecs and abdomen. Feeling his partner’s manhood against his thigh, Steve gestures toward the front of the shuttle, with a wanton smile, “Let me show you some non-regulation uses of the Pilots Chair, Mr Vega.” A seductive smile spreads across his face as Steve pulls him into the cockpit. 

 

##### -II- Sunrise

The first hints of morning light stream in from the skylight, on the bed below, Kaidan is curled into a semi-fetal position. Shepard’s voice emitting from the pad, replaying the message Alan had sent him, _“Kaidan, I don’t care what the regs say. I want you to move into my cabin, please. I. . . I sleep better when you're next to me.”_ The sunlight irritates his strained eyes, conspiring with his sleepless, aching body to intensify his headache. He has lost count of how many times he’s watched these messages, some of them he doesn’t remember sending.

The pad beeps -again- informing him that the energy-cell is nearly depleted. Sighing, Kaidan rolls out of bed and stretches trying to relieve the kinks in his back and neck. Giving up after a few minutes, saying to himself, “Stretches aren’t going to be enough today, Alenko.” With data pad in hand, he heads toward the bathroom.

The irony as he stops by the desk, rummaging for an open charge port, puts a smirk on his face. Plugging the pad into the charger, he continues his quest for a shower, and is startled by the stranger he finds in the mirror. His eyes bloodshot and puffy, cheeks gaunt, and a ghostly pallor and new lines on his face have seemingly formed overnight. Reminding him he hasn’t been eating enough. 

Turning away from the mirror, he strips off his clothes and steps over to activate the shower. The warm water rains down on his skin, he adjusts the temperature to just under scalding and he luxuriates as the heat penetrates his sore muscles loosening the knots that have formed along his spine. Ten minutes later, Kaidan emerges from the bathroom wearing a towel and trailed by clouds of steam. Walking over to the closet with a renewed vigor, the shower appears to have washed away five-years. He pulls out a fresh uniform and begins to dress.

A handful of minutes later, Kaidan is sitting at Shepard’s desk. Propping his elbows on the desk and steepling his fingers under his chin, he’s unsure how to approach his apology. He considers going to find Cortez in person, but finally decides to start with a message. With new found purpose he activates his Omnitool, checking the time, he enters his message, “Steve, what I need to say should be done in person. I’d like to talk this morning before breakfast, if possible, and I’d understand if you don’t feel comfortable speaking to me alone.” With the message sent, he’s determined to clear his head before their meeting. He pushes himself out of the chair and heads toward the ladder. A few minutes later his Omnitool beeps with a reply message, “Kaidan, I’ll be up to the cabin at 0630.” 

 

##### -III- Shuttle Interior

The shuttle bay lights seep through the shuttle’s cracked windscreen, casting a soft glow into the interior of the cockpit. On the cramped floor with the seat cushions beneath them, James is snoring as his big arms loosely snuggle Steve against his chest. In his slumber, Vega shifts closer to his lover. The movement puts pressure on the bruise on Steve’s back, the quick shot of pain awakening him.

Cortez had dreamt of this before; at first he thought it was yet another dream, but the reality sets in as his hand finds his partner’s larger hand. Gently caressing it, as if testing to see how deep he’s dreaming. Feeling some confidence, he slowly and carefully wriggles free of Vega’s arms. He still can’t believe how the last 24-hours played out. First, almost dying from that tree branch in the jungle, then finding Shepard’s letter and the following fight with Kaidan. And somehow, it all ended with falling in love with James. A delighted grin lightens his face watching his love sleep.

The thought, _Does James feel the same?_ crosses his mind. They both had plenty to drink last night and Steve is fully aware of Vega’s reputation for meaningless drunken trysts. _But, He wouldn’t toy with me, would he?_ His mind frets as he wants more than just a one-night stand. Taking a deep breath, he knows there is nothing he can do until he can talk to James. Standing quietly and putting his shorts on, he tiptoes into the empty passenger area of the Kodiak.

With the newfound space in the back of the Kodiak, Steve takes the time to stretch is stiff back. With his mind racing; he couldn’t possibly go back to sleep as much as he’d like to. With his worries over James aside, his mind moves onto the larger issue, _How do I work it out with Kaidan?_ He’s not upset with the Major; if the roles were reversed he’d probably do the same. In the midst of his thoughts, he is interrupted by the loud chime on his Omnitool. Jumping from the sudden sound, he quickly raises his arm and mutes the sound; acting in haste to avoid waking James.

The sound echoed in the small vehicle. Steve can tell the noise has awoken James; hearing him roll around in the cockpit. As Steve wonders how best to approach the conversation, Vega mutters loudly, “James, you _pendejo_... Way to fuck up your one chance with him. “

Surprised, Steve can’t help but wonder if his previous worry was unfounded; gingerly replying, “I’m back here.” He hears a sudden movement in the cockpit. James obviously just realized he wasn’t alone. Walking back into the cockpit he grins, “What do you mean by, ‘fuck up’?” He speaks with a serious tone, but he knows what was going through his lover’s mind. As he approaches, he can see the worry melting from Vega’s face. Cortez smiles as he sits next to James. A short pause as the two simply stare into each other’s eyes; they seemingly understand one another without words.

Vega sweeps up his elicited love’s smaller hand. Steve takes the chance; “James… Last night was spectacular!” He does not stammer, but hesitates how to word it. “No. More than that; it was special for me. I think- no, I know I love you. I don’t want it to be the last and I hope you feel the same.” He yearns to hear Vega return the ‘I love you.’

James’s face brightens, “Ah hell no, Esteban!” Leaning over to draw Steve into a bear hug, “I want more too; there’s no way you’re backing out now!” Vega nuzzles his lover’s soft neck with kisses as he gently rolls him back onto the cushions. He softly fondles his chest with his hand; exploring Cortez’s smooth, tight body. But just as he leans in for a kiss, Steve’s Omnitool chimes again; interrupting their moment.

With an apologetic sigh, Steve activates his Omnitool; retrieving the message from Kaidan. As the message finishes, Vega scoffs, “Hmpf, want me to show that _puta_ ‘what needs to be said in person’?” James obviously is still bitter about the fight. However, Cortez simply shakes his head; ‘no’ he says with his lips. He finds it adorable how protective his newfound love is.

Steve finishes his response to Kaidan and sits up, facing his man. “No need for that, Mr. Vega. I’m going to go talk to Kaidan; I’ll be fine. You will go get us breakfast and meet me in the Crew's Quarters. Got it?” He finishes with a stern voice, his left fist on his hip. 

James laughs at the obvious sarcasm in Steve’s voice, responding with a satirical salute, “Yes Sir, Mister Cortez-Sir!” He continues to make his manly giggles as they both get up. With Vega still nude and now without sheets, Steve takes a second look and giggles as well. 

“I think I like ordering you around!” He says as he throws Vega his pants. “Get dressed, soldier!”

They finish getting their clothes on and cleaning up the cockpit. Not without the constant jokes, but the job gets done quickly and 0630 is rapidly approaching. Vega grabs Steve’s arm as they head out. “I’ll be waiting for you in the mess hall. Don’t be late now!” Cortez smiles and nods 'yes'. Stepping out of the Kodiak, with James close behind, as he nears the elevator shaft, “Wait!” James calls for him to stop, “I love you too, Steve.” As he walks toward the ladder, he’s never felt a bigger smile on his face.

 

##### -IV- 0630 Hours

Steve arrives promptly, with a sympathetic expression on his bruised face, “I can imagine how bad it looked when you caught me in here. Your memory loss just made it. . . worse.” 

Kaidan holds up his hand and cuts in, “No, Steve.” Continuing bashfully, “My actions were inexcusable and my condition is not an excuse either.” Pointing to his bruised eye, “I’m sorry.” Picking up the data pad and turning to Steve, “Thank you. I watched these messages all night and,” Selecting one of the messages, “I found this message you sent to Shepard.” Handing the pad over as the message began to play.

“Commander, thanks again for helping me cope with Robert’s death. I’m glad to hear that you and Major Alenko were able to rekindle your relationship. I wish you two the best and I’m so happy for you both.” 

A melancholy look crosses Kaidan’s face, “Alan, showed me that message once, I didn’t remember it -or others- until I viewed them again. I may have said this to you before; I’m sorry for your loss.” Taking a cleansing breath, “Sometimes I just get fragments of memories that seem disconnected from anything else. That’s what happened last night. I’m sorry Steve, I’d understand if you don’t forgive me.”

Steve can’t imagine losing memories of Robert, no matter how painful., “Sir, your time with Shepard was short enough, to have that time cut even shorter, just seems a cruel twist of fate.” Handing back the pad with one hand while placing the other on Kaidan’s shoulder with a gentle squeeze, “I know you’re hurting. You know I’ve been where you are and I’m not mad about last night. If you remember, you saved my life yesterday.” Turning his head to look at the surviving models, “I won’t lie to you with platitudes like ‘It’ll get better’ or other bullshit. I still think of Robert everyday and I’ll always love him,” Returning his gaze to Kaidan while thinking about last night with James makes him smile, “But now, I’m ready to move on and that’s thanks to Shepard.” His brows furrowed. “I know it’s hard, sir, but try to remember the good times you two had together.” Pointing to the pad again, “Hopefully even more happy memories will come back to you.“

Kaidan is holding back tears, “You know, Shepard always said you were a good man.” Holding out his hand to shake Steve’s, “He was a good judge of character. Thank you for being honest and for your forgiveness.” 

Steve grabs the Major’s hand and grins, “To Commander Shepard.” While still in the handshake. “He was lucky to have a man like you in his life, Sir. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go get cleaned up for breakfast.” Leaving Kaidan alone with his thoughts.


	9. Day 7 - Part 2

##### -I- CIC Deck

Wincing, Joker carefully climbs off the ladder from the deck below. His right leg has been bothering him since the crash, but he’ll be damned if he’s going to stay confined to the crew deck. While holding onto the railing, he takes a moment to steady himself and stretch his leg. From the shaft behind him, Kaidan is stepping onto the deck. The Major was never one of his favorite people, and details were sketchy, but everyone knew about his argument with Steve last night. If he caught someone messing around with EDI’s personal items, not that she had any, he’d be pissed too. In his trademark affable yet snarky tone, “G’morning Major. You didn’t need to come down just for little old me, I can hobble along by myself.” 

Kaidan eyes him for a few seconds, seemingly trying to decide if he’s being honest or just “Being Joker”. The look on his face reminding him of the argument they had after the Collector attack on the Normandy SR1. Kaidan never forgave him for losing Shepard and to be honest, neither of them have tried to rebuild that bridge. Pulling his mind back to the present, he continues toward the flight deck. The major’s voice curious, “What’s going on?” 

Joker wanted to get the results alone, he didn’t want to get anyone else’s hopes up until he was certain his program had worked. However, he knew Kaidan wouldn’t be sated with a “Nothing, major”. Keeping his voice light he turns to explain, “Garrus and I got the NavComp going yesterday afternoon. As you know, EDI ran most of the systems, so I had to write a crude stellar cartography program. It’s not the most efficient, but it should work.” 

The major sweeps his left arm in the direction of the flight deck, indicating his intent to follow. Letting Joker set the pace, they continue walking toward the flight deck, “So, you needed a nighttime view of the sky to get your readings?”

Nodding his head in agreement, “Correct. If we can positively identify two or more stars, we can triangulate where we are. Of course, only the dorsal star sensors are functioning and even they are partially blocked by the solar panels.” With a groan, Joker carefully maneuvers himself into the pilot's seat activating the console. Pausing for a moment to get comfortable, “Pulsars, Red Giants, etc all emit a specific light and radiofrequency so it’s like a fingerprint of the star. We can also use size and shape of known nebula to judge our position. Anyway, I want to check the readings before breakfast.” Opening his program, “Hopefully the NavComp was able to lock onto a few known stars.” His program wasn’t as efficient as he hoped as a, “Please Wait” message hovered on the display, “This could take a few.” An exasperated sigh betraying his thoughts. 

As the NavComp went about its business, Joker observes as Kaidan settles into the EDI’s chair. It shouldn’t anger him, but he can’t help it, “Liara’s been bugging me to put EDI’s name on the memorial wall.” He can see the understanding in the Major’s face, which just irritates him more, “I can’t believe. . . well, never mind” A bit more acidic than he intended, but Kaidan just gives him a questioning look and saying nothing. The pause growing pregnant, Joker breaks the silence, “I can’t do that to her, I know she’s alive! She’s just. . . just sleeping.” His emotions finally getting the better of him, he turns to face Kaidan his voice acidic again, “I can’t believe you just gave up on the Commander.” 

For several seconds, Kaidan’s whiskey colored eyes drill into Joker. When he responds, his voice is like frozen helium, each word slow and biting, “I did not give up!” Pausing a few moments to visibly get his temper under control, “You know, I can’t remember the memorial, and I can’t tell you what I thought then. I can tell you what I feel now.” His voice still cold and his eyes still locked onto Joker, “The others can believe what they want, but until I get confirmation otherwise,” Pointing to his chest voice cracking, “he’s alive.” His brown eyes remaining hard, just daring Joker to make one of his snarky remarks. “However, if I’m wrong. If.. if he’s gone, then Shepard deserves to be honored like a hero.” His voice slightly wavering with barely contained emotions, “That is why his name is on the wall.” 

Joker knew he pushed too hard, Kaidan’s speech made him realize that he felt the same way about EDI. Embarrassed for his actions, “Everyone else says EDI is dead, but you never have.” His eyes and voice apologetic, “Now, I guess I know why. Change a few words and. . . well.” Pausing, his eyes pleading, “I still want Tali to look at her, but I’m afraid of. . . “

Kaidan’s eyes soften, “You know, I keep switching between wanting to know and. . .” Taking a slow deep breath, “The uncertainty is hard enough, but if it’s true I. . . I don’t know if I’m ready.” Scoffing, his voice dejected yet steady, “That is why the QEC repair scares the hell out of me. We need it fixed but, I also fear it.” 

The Nav-Comp beeps, pulling the two back to the present situation. Joker turns to examine the data. The silence growing unbearable, as his eyes grow large and excitedly exclaims, “We’re in the Local Cluster, not far from home! About 60 light years from Earth, give-or-take, a 5-day FTL trip!” Both men look at each other in disbelief, stunned just as Doctor Chakwas breaks in over Kaidan’s Omnitool in a medical override

“Major, it’s almost time for breakfast. I don’t want you skipping another meal.” in her disapproving motherly tone. 

Kaidan rolls his eyes, but his mood is too good, “I was talking to Joker, Doc. He’s got some good news for us today. We’ll be down in a minute” Cutting off the connection. 

 

##### -II- Crew Deck: Breakfast

“I’m glad you’re on your feet, Major.” Chief Engineer Adams is next to Kaidan in the breakfast line. His voice light and conversational, “You gave us a scare.” Both men reach for the same piece of fruit. Adams laughs as he lets the Major have the piece as he selects another, “Any idea how long your memory loss will last?” 

Pouring a little extra creamer into his coffee, Kaidan answers, “Some loss may be permanent, but fragments keep coming.” Both men turn and walk toward the tables, where they find two spots next to each other. Continuing their impromptu meeting, “I’ve got an appointment with the Doc after breakfast.” A grimace crosses his face after taking a sip of the still too hot coffee, “How did the generator test go?” Stirring the coffee with a spoon to cool it off. 

Adams smiles, taking a moment to swallow his bite, “It went well.” Happy to have good news to report, “We did a pressure test on the coolant system yesterday and it checked out without a leak. Today we’re going to load the coolant into the system and prep for startup tomorrow.” Pride obvious in his voice. 

“That’s great chief,” Smiling, Kaidan nodding his head, “With the power, we’ll be able to use the heavy equipment to clear a path out of the shuttle bay for the Kodiak.” 

Steve passes behind Kaidan, patting him on the back, “Good Morning Major” his voice loud enough to carry, in a not-very-subtle way, of letting everyone near know he wasn’t holding a grudge. Both men smile at eachother before Cortez continues on to sit across from James. Kaidan notes how the two of them are smiling at eachother. He has seen a similar smile before on Shepard, making him wonder if the two have started a relationship. Before his thoughts get too far, they are disturbed by Liara’s conversation across the table. 

Liara and Private Campbell are locked into a lively discussion about the stone tablet. They are as giddy as two school girls, which is natural, as she is still a scientist at heart and Campbell had joined the Alliance for the scholarship, her real desire was to be a scientist too. Like Liara, she wanted to explore the galaxy’s lost civilizations. The Asauri turns to Kaidan, her voice still excited with wonder, “Major, look at this scan of the clearing.” Handing him a pad as she points to the foundation stones, “You can clearly see one small building within the perimeter and a portion of a second.” She highlights two rectangular stone formations, “Finally, as we adjusted the sensors you can see the path. This area used to be a village or town.” 

Kaidan looks at the display, agreeing it could be foundations, “I’m not a scientist, Liara.” Sounding a bit skeptical. She advances the pad’s display to show the tablet. 

Campbell interjects, her voice excited, “The stone tablet proves there were people here and the language isn’t in Liara’s databases, so it could be a completely unknown alien race.” Her excitement nearly vibrating her out of the chair. “Plus, the dating on the foundation stones suggest they were cut over twelve-thousand years ago, Sir.” 

Liara cuts back in, “I’d like to form a survey team with myself and Campbell. Javik has already agreed to come along too. There is a ridge nearby that may have caves. If so, it’s natural shelter and we may find more samples of these aliens.”

From the other end of the table, Joker lets the news slip about their location to Earth. “We’re a 5-day FTL trip from home?!” The excitement of Vega’s voice silences the entire room, letting the news sink in. Seconds tick past then the room erupts with joy and it remains the only topic of discussion for the remainder of breakfast. 

 

##### -III- Med-Bay

Kaidan is laying on the exam bed as sensors sweep over his body, watching as Chakwas gets a needle ready to pull another blood sample. He hates needles, resigned yet joking, “You know Doctor, every time I see you lately you want my blood. I’d almost swear you’ve turned into a vampire.” 

Rolling with the joke, “It’s half the fun, Major” Returning to his bedside with the supplies, “Shepard didn’t like needles either.” She swabs his arm and prepares to retrieve her sample. 

Kaidan smiles back, simply saying, “Sadist.” As the needle penetrates his skin. The scanner completes its sweep and beeps at the doctor. Taping a bandage over his needle mark, she turns to examine the display above his bed, “How’s your headache today?”

Kaidan lies, “It’s not so bad.” The headache was ever present and worse than his usual “normal” but, he felt it wasn’t enough to really worry about. 

She can tell from the scan that he’s lying, but lets it go, “I want the swelling and infection gone before reactivating your implants and I want you to remain on the ship as well.” Indicating Kaidan can sit up, she points to the display, “The swelling is staying down but not gone completely.” Checking the initial results on the blood sample, she scowls and scolds him, “You're still not eating enough, Major.” Betraying him, his stomach rumbles, highlighting her statement. Stepping over to her her mini-fridge, she retrieves a bottle of juice and a nutrition bar. Returning to his side and handing them both to Kaidan, “Doctor’s orders or I’ll confine you to the med-bay.” Her tone making clear she’s not in the mood to argue. 

With an audible exhale, Kaidan beings to eat the bar, while trying not to think about the awful aftertaste. The med-bay door slides open admitting Samantha & Tali to enter. The two pause as Tali looks between doctor and patient, then asks, “May we speak with him, Doctor?” 

Chakwas looks at Tali then notes the serious look on Samantha's face. Deciding there was no harm in letting the Major do his work while he ate, “Just make sure he finishes his snack, Tali.” Her voice firm yet motherly. 

Kaidan was going to override the doctor, but was unnecessary. Simply asking, “Hey, what’s going on?” 

Tali jumps directly to the point, “We’d like Liara to help us with the QEC today.” Sam simply smiles and nods agreement.

Concerned, “I thought your repairs were going well?” Hoping there won’t be bad news to ruin the day’s morale. 

Sam reassures Kaidan, “Nothing is wrong per se, we have the timing circuits repaired and are ready to install and test them.” Smiling at Tali, “We already recruited Garrus for the day, but would like Liara’s help with some of the final adjustments. She’s got experience with comm-systems that we could use.” 

“Sounds good to me.” Kaidan activates his Omnitool, his voice contrite, “Liara, I know you’re excited about your scouting trip, but, Tali and Sam need you to help with the QEC today.” 

Over the comm comes Liara’s voice, “But we’re nearly ready to go.” Sounding a bit agitated, “Do they really need me today?” Kaidan raises his gaze, letting the question hang in the air for a moment. He knows they wouldn’t have asked for her help if it wasn’t necessary. Just as he was going to respond, Liara continues with her emotions under control, “I’ll meet them in the QEC room in twenty.” 

 

##### -IV- Comm-Room

To the casual observer, the room would look in complete disarray, panels and other miscellaneous equipment stacked everywhere, even some in the holo tank. There was however, a method to the madness. The heart of the QEC was not the holo-tank and they needed the space to work, so it became a natural temporary storage space. Garrus is leaning over the panel with the newly repaired timing array making some final adjustments, “There, that should it, Tali. Ready to power it up.” Turning to look at Sam and Tali over by the diagnostic equipment. 

Tali makes a few adjustments to the equipment, “Power is stable but the signal is drifting again, Garrus.” Sounding frustrated, “We’ve been at this for hours, it must be the timing array, the repairs to the circuit just isn’t going to cut it.” 

Looking over at Samatha they both agree. With a sigh, Sam says, “The repair bench isn’t precise enough. We’ll just have to build a new one from scratch, but we need new timers for the new array.” 

Tali strokes her chin in thought, “Maybe Garrus and I can fine tune the nano-assembler in the bench to be accurate, but we still need new timer circuits” 

Liara has been monitoring the feed from the Quantum State Sensor, “I have some Femtosecond timer circuits in my comm equipment, do you think they would work?” Tali agrees with a nod as she turns to assist Garrus in removing the timing array from the equipment. 

Liara turns off the equipment she was using, “Sam, will you come help me?” Both women smile at each other as they walk out the door. Sam asking a question about Asauri culture as their voices fading as they leave the room.

“I think Liara found a new admirer.” In a classic case of Garrus’s dry humor. Tali giggles in response. 

 

##### -V- 2200 Hours

Steve enters the shuttle bay, on the port side of the room, James is doing sets of dumbbell rows. Watching his muscled arm flexing made him thankful Vega removed his shirt to exercise tonight. Remembering the previous few months of watching James working out, while he puttered with the shuttle or in the armory, a grin spreading across his face as he approaches the workout area. 

James watches Steve approaching as he completes his last rep, “Esteban, your slobber is making a puddle.” teasing and tossing his towel toward the other man, “Here, I wouldn’t want you to slip and hurt yourself.” 

Knowing that James loves the attention, “I know you like it, Mr. Vega” Catching the towel with ease, “I see you’ve kept yourself busy while I was working with Liara.” Setting the towel aside as they embrace. “How did your scouting mission go today?” 

Releasing the embrace to sit on the edge of the weight bench, “Good, we got two of the ‘chickens’ today. Now if we could find some chili-plants I could make some _chili-verde_.” Imploring Steve to help with his eyes as he massages his own sore neck, “I can just imagine Javik trying to eat it.” Both share a laugh. 

Yielding to the unspoken request, Steve gets on the bench behind James. Massaging his shoulders with his hands, “Weren’t you restricted from cooking after your last, let’s call it a culinary incident?” 

“Hey now, that was my _Abuela’s_ special recipe.” Mocking hurt feelings. “The backup in the septic system was completely circumstantial.” Losing his composure as they both burst out laughing. “Anyhow, while I was off gathering our dinner, what did you do today?” 

Steve pokes James in the ribs for that remark, “I rebuilt several thermal clips to keep our supplies stocked.” Kneading James’s shoulders with his hands, “Then I worked on design ideas for a flying mount for Liara’s probe. I’ve been messing with an idea for using mini-MassEffect engines to make a RC Flying kit. I have some of the engines on my Hammerhead model that may--” 

James scoffs incredulous, “You’re talking about making models when we’re only a 5-day FLT trip from home? Fuel up the Kodiak and let’s get out of here!” 

Steve can understand the frustration, “First, we need to dig out the bay and the shuttle needs to be repaired.” Calmly responding, “Plus, the Kodiak’s endurance isn’t that far. I have a few ideas to extend its range, but I need to talk to Adams about it. Even at best, only a few people could make the trip.” The two fall into silence as he continues to massage Vega’s back. While working on his neck he notices a scar on the left side, “Where did you get this scar?” lightly touching the scar with his finger. 

James considers for a moment, “Oh that, uh, a piece of shrapnel grazed me during the battle with the Collectors on Fehl Prime.” 

Steve leans in and gently kisses the scar. James shivers, enjoying the touch, as massage continues. Finding another scar on his left shoulder, “What about this one?” Not waiting for an answer, he leans in to kiss that scar too and slips his hands around James in an embrace. Inhaling the smell of the man he loves, sliding closer while slipping a hand down under James’s waistband. “Hmm, you seem to have a some... tension here, Mr Vega.” Steve’s voice deep and sultry. 

James stands up lifting Steve into a fireman’s carry, “Enough talk, Esteban.” A promiscuous twinkle in his eyes as he carries him toward the other side of the room, “Time to test the endurance of the shuttle.” 

 

##### -VI- Earth: SSV Argentina 

_The foggy haze is omnipresent, obscuring everything in white clouds while a high-pitched noise rings in his ears. His entire body feeling stiff and sore, as a breeze picks up making him shiver in the cool empty vastness. The breeze begins to lift the haze, in the distance shadowy shapes take form with indistinct voices mumbling._

_On stiff legs he approaches the shadowy shapes and begins to make sense of some of the words, “. . . No contact. . . Normandy. . .” It’s Hackett. Willing his legs to move faster, he tries to reach the shadows, yet they stay out of reach._

_A new voice joins from the mist, “. . . Lost. . . Kaidan. . .” Mother? What about Kaidan? “. . . His eulogy was touching. . .” His what?! The question hanging in the air as an explosion from behind knocks him to his knees._

_In an instant, he’s in London having just dodged an exploding transport. Hammer squad is in an all out assault to reach the conduit. He’s on his knees, in the shadow of a destroyed Mako. Kaidan and Garrus at his side are both wounded, a pained look on his lovers face, while Joker is on the static filled comm as the Normandy lands and the ramp begins to open. Helping Kaidan to his feet they run the dozen meters to the foot of the ramp. “Shepard, don’t leave me behind.” His face peppered with bloody shrapnel wounds in obvious pain, yet determined to stay._

_Evacuating Kaidan is one of the hardest decisions he’s had to make. Placing his left hand on his loves cheek, “No matter what happens. Know that I love you, always.”_

_The pained look on Kaidan’s face is breaking his heart, “I love you too.” A tear escapes to run down his cheek, “Be careful.” Normandy’s engines throttle-up for take off as the ramp starts to close. Sprinting clear as the ship lifts off just as Harbinger's terrible flat horn blairs._

_Time stretches, each second lasting an age, turning to look at the Reaper as the giant alien turns tracking the frigate's path as its twin energy beams knife through the sky and strike the fleeing ship. Harbinger taunts him, “This hurts you, Shepard.” Just as the Normandy’s barriers fail from the assault and the beams rip through the hull, breaking the ship into two. The Reaper’s horn sounds again in triumph as the wreckage falls back to Earth. His heart dying within his chest as the final piece of the Normandy touches down. The heat grows as the beams arc toward him, inching closer but Shepard no longer cares as everything turns white._

Admiral Hackett and Hannah Shepard have been talking for several minutes. Telling Shepherd of the MIA status of the Normandy as its crew as well as the memorial service for Admiral Anderson earlier that morning. They are taken by surprise as the alarms on the medical equipment sound like a ships klaxon. Medical staff storm into the room like a well trained commando team pushing the two out of the way as the doctor enters barking orders, “Charge the defibrillator, get those connections off him!” A SBA gently pushing them out the door leaving the two admirals in the hall. Admiral Hackett places a consoling hand on Hannah’s shoulder as they watch the staff trying to save Alan’s life. 

_Shepard awakens is in a dark tunnel, noises and faint voices echo off the hard walls all around him. Some kind of alarm is beeping and the voices fade in with something about heart rhythm. Trying to struggle to his knees as a sudden waves of pain wash over him, knocking him flat._

_Slowly the pain fades and his senses return, he tentatively sits up, his back to the wall for support. Taking a moment to rest and catch his breath he checks his environment. The tunnel extends in two directions, far in the distance is a faint white light, in the other direction is a cool blackness. The blackness seems to be calling him almost pulling him into the darkness._

_The voices get louder and echoing off the walls he hears Mordin, “Had to be me. Someone else may have gotten it wrong.” From the darkness, he also hears Anderson, “I’m proud of you son.” Gathering his strength, as every movement hurts, he carefully stands. Turning toward the light, Ashley voice echoing, “It’s OK commander.” Each step hurts, it feels like walking through molasses as he fights the pull of the blackness struggling toward the light._


	10. Day 10: Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is much more back-story for the moon (aka Jungle World) and the stone tablet Liara found. More than will be revealed in the remainder of Jungle World, but I decided that information is best left to its own story instead of intruding on Kaidan & Shepard’s story.
> 
> This chapter opens on Day 10, three days after the last chapter. Liara has conducted a few trips out to the caves she wanted to explore and engineering started the power generator they were repairing in previous chapters.

##### -I- Med-Bay 

Lying on the bio-scanner bed, is a pale faced Kaidan, he feels clammy and his headache is worse today. Next to the bed, Dr Karin Chakwas examines the scan results on her datapad, a look of consternation settling onto her face. Lying on this bed is only exasperating his migraine, as the scanner begins to make a third pass, a audible sigh escaping his lips. She had to suspect something, or the extra scans wouldn’t be necessary. “Talk to me Doc. What’s wrong?” 

She sets aside the data pad, “Your infection. The swelling hasn’t been decreasing for the last few days. Which already had me concerned, now today, you’re running a fever.” A frustrated tone has replaced her normally amiable voice, “Perhaps the bacteria may be starting to resist the medicines.” Kaidan starts to fidget on the bed as the scanner finally completes its task. “Okay, you may sit up now, Major.” 

Glad to be out from underneath the bio-scanner, Kaidan swings his legs over the side of the bed, sitting up too fast making him dizzy. That’s when Karin noticed the bump on the back of his head in the scan results, “Now, how did you get this?” She gently examines the wound. 

Kaidan’s cheeks turn red in embarrassment, “I slipped in the shower.” Telling a lie, he’d fainted, but he wasn’t in the mood for another scolding.

Her voice uneasy with concern, “Kaidan, I want you staying on the ship until this infection is gone. You need to rest and relax, let your body fight the infection.” Her eyes holding his for a few seconds, waiting for him to object, “I’m also starting some fresh labs, to see if we can’t find another treatment for you.” Absentmindedly adding, “I wish our Medical VI was online to examine the DNA of this bacteria.” 

SBA Housley enters the room with Kaidan’s morning medicines and a glass of juice. He hands them to Dr Chakwas while she passes him the new lab work orders. Turning back to Kaidan, she says, “I’m going to double your dose of antibiotics to see if that’ll help.” Handing him the juice, “Now, drink this before you leave, and remember, stay on the ship and relax.”

 

##### -II- Normandy’s Wing 

It’s a beautiful day, with the sun high in the sky and the air clear and still, with nearly zero wind. “Ah, look at this. It’s a perfect day to fly.” Steve says cheerfully as he scans the sky with his eyes, before returning to his task of completing the final checks on the drone. 

“It is a nice day” Javik agrees, as he watches the pilot fuss over the probe, “That doesn’t mean this. . . contraption of yours, will work.” 

Laughing, “Blunt as always, Javik.” Making a few final adjustments to the wing attachments. “I’ve been building models since I was a kid, this will work.” Pointing out the features as he explains, “There are six rotatable micro-masseffect engines on this hull --only four are really needed-- but the extra two give the unit more lift and safety. The engines rotate for hover or flight modes and the wings provide full flight control; Yaw, Pitch, and Roll.” Standing up to face Javik, “Plus, the onboard sensors provide VI flight assistance and obstacle avoidance. Given me some time, I can cook up a decent autopilot program too.”

Satisfied with his work, Steve steps back and using his Omnitool, activating the power. “Ok, we’re ready to go.” Tapping a few commands, the flight system starts up and the Probe hovers off the ground, exactly as he expected. “Alright, phase one is go. Engine pressure is good and dataloop is clean.” Entering a few more commands, smiling at the Prothean, “Let’s try a basic flight test.” 

The Probe lifts up to chest level and flies around the clearing perimeter, follows the fence line, then returns to the starting point hovering. “Okay, now let me try. . . “ Steve continues his testing. 

 

##### -III- QEC Room 

Sam is watching the final few-dozen seconds countdown on the repair tool, while Tali is testing and installing the other timing array. The term “Repair Tool” was a misnomer, not only can it repair, but also build replacement parts. The Alliance’s official name was, “Three Dimensional Multipurpose Repair and Manufacturing Device” and nearly every race had their own names and designs. This unit is specific for nano-electronics, while others are designed for metal alloy and composite parts. 

The most sensitive parts, like the femtosecond timer chips Liara gave them, cannot be produced by this tool, though it can build items around those parts. The process is still less accurate, and slower, than other modern techniques, but on a ship where space is limited, they are treasured. Her wandering mind is returned to the present by the finish chime. The tool’s hatch opens revealing the newly created part. Sam reaches in, “Alright, hot off the presses.” The new timing array is still warm to the touch. 

Tali cocks her head, “I’ve heard humans use that term before.” Walking over to inspect the newly made part, “What does it mean anyway?” 

Sam considers the question for a moment, “It’s an old Earth term from centuries ago. I’m not entirely sure either.” Shaking her shoulders. “Anyway, did the other array pass the tests?” 

Tilting her head toward the other equipment, “Everything is green. Hopefully we can start a full diagnostic on the QEC array today.” The two get to work testing the new timer. 

 

##### -IV- Liara’s Quarters 

The wall of displays are playing the recordings the survey team made of their trips to the nearby caves. Currently, Liara has it configured in dual-display mode; the left half showing the footage from the first cave they explored, and the right side showing their explorations yesterday. “This stone work between the natural cave sections and the man-made areas. It’s an excellent example of stone masonry workmanship. The seams are still tight and clean.” 

Over by the workbench, Private Campbell, is examining one of the stone tablets they recovered from the caves, “Yes, the keystone arches and also the granite dowels used in the block walls, show they had a good understanding of engineering too.” Running her hand over the stone carved lettering, “I just wish we could translate the language. I had hoped Javik would have recognized it, but it was a long shot.” 

The video on the display pans to one of the older primitive wall drawings, it shows a group of hunters with spears taking down a large animal. Liara tilts her head, “I bet James would love to hunt down one of those large creatures.”

Campbell looks over at Liara, “He’d probably just say it tastes like chicken too.” Breaking into a giggle, “Do you think they had tails? I mean, the shape of the hunters make it seem like they had at least a stubby tail or pronounced tail bone.”

Liara considers the question, “The heads are also out of proportion for an average humanoid shape and the bodies are--” The comm alert beeps interrupting her. 

The excitement in Steve’s voice erupts from the speakers, “Liara, you’re not going to believe what I’m looking at.” Her comm display lights up with a video feed from the survey drones camera. The on-screen compass rotates as the view shifts south, the jungle canopy stretching into the distance, the probe is higher than most of the trees providing them their first long distance view of the area. In the distance is a ridgeline partially obscuring a valley. As the camera lens zooms into the valley, Liara and Campbell both gasp. Campbell getting her voice first, “My God, look at those ruins.” 

Liara studies the screen for several seconds, absorbing the view, “It’s hard to see, but the stone work looks even more intricate than the examples in the cave. The drone’s camera was never intended for such long distance shots. Wait,” Pointing to stone work in front of a large building, “Do those look like statues?” 

The private considers the image for a few seconds, “Yes, and the columns and building design reminds me of the ancient Greco-Roman era on Earth.” Campbell breaks her eyes away from the video to glance at the data feed, “They’re about 25 Kilometers away, that’s close enough for a team to get there and back within a day.” 

Nodding her head in agreement, “If we leave first thing tomorrow we should have plenty of time.” Eyes still on the video feed, “Meanwhile, Steve, can you move the drone closer?” 

Steve’s voice is a mix of regret and irritation, “Sorry, not yet. I’m having some stability problems at altitude and in windy conditions. I’m still working on how to resolve the issue. Until then, I want to keep the drone close.” 

“I appreciate your care and attention to detail, Steve.” Liara could relate to the frustration he was experiencing. She’d experienced enough setbacks in her own studies over the years, “Do you think it’ll be ready to go for tomorrow's trip?” 

“Probably, but either way I’m going with you.” The instance clear in his voice and before she can respond, “Javik said he wants to go too.” 

Relenting she agrees to their demands, “Alright, sounds like a plan. Now, I just need to get Kaidan to sign off.” Taking a moment to gather her thoughts, she begins to hand out assignments to prepare for tomorrow's trip. 

 

##### -V- Shuttle Bay 

With the generator repaired, there was available power to run the heavy equipment to dig out the shuttle bay. Even before Kaidan finished climbing down the ladder, the din was nearly deafening. James and an Engineering team have been making good progress today, with a nearly a half meter shaft dug that will be large enough for the Kodiak. 

Gabby is monitoring the master control panel for the two mass effect drills. Speaking into a mic, “Watch the pressure Kenneth.” She didn’t see Kaidan, until he was standing right next to her. She hit the main power button, turning off the equipment, “Sorry Major, I didn’t know you were there.” 

Thankful for the silence, “I just dropped in to check on progress” Smiling at the team, “Not to slow you all down.” Looking at each member of the team in greeting. “Looks like you’ll hit the projected meter-a-day mark.” 

A proud smile brightens the whole teams face, but Kenneth is first to respond, “Yes sir, we should have the path clear for the shuttle in about a week.” Gesturing to Gabby, “Lassie here, modified these drills to chisel rock and they’re working better than we thought.” 

Gabby’s cheeks were flushing as James padded her on the back, “We’ll get this done is no time, sir.” His tone confident. 

A gentle admonishment, “James, I’m more worried about safety than speed.” Looking each of the team in the eyes, “I won’t keep you from your task. You’re doing good work and let me know if there is anything you need.” With that, he let the group continue their work while we went back to the upper levels. 

 

##### -VI- Shepard’s Cabin 

Kaidan, had nearly gone stir crazy trying to “relax”. Throughout the day, he had tried reading, meditating, walking around the ship, and even tried to take a nap around lunch time. Nothing really worked, he wanted to be “doing” something. Then during lunch, the crew sprung the surprise arranged by Garrus and Engineer Adams; they had replaced the glass on the fish tank. Watching the fish through the new glass was relaxing, and it touched his heart to see the tank repaired. Still not content to just “relax”, he’s been puttering around cleaning up the cabin for the past hour, he even found Shepard’s model supplies in a drawer. Without even thinking about it, he was sitting at the desk sorting the models and parts that have broken off. A few of the models were badly damaged but most parts had broken off cleanly at the seams. 

The Turian cruiser model was nearly repaired, when Garrus dropped by with another dose of medicine & juice from Dr Chakwas. Handing them to Kaidan, Garrus turned to inspect his handy work, in a friendly taunt, “Playing with models too, Major?” The twinkle in his eye underscoring his dry humor, “Is it the cabin or some kind of human idiosyncrasy?” 

Snickering, but caught off guard, he had no comeback, “You know, I remember Shepard’s smile whenever he’d get a new model.” Eyes growing soft as the memory replays, “One of my first nights back on the Normandy, we spent half the night talking about his models, the fish, and even the hampster.” 

“Only half the night?” Getting in another jab.

The giggle transforms into a full laugh, “The other half of that night, is none of your business.” A matching twinkle in his own eyes. Finishing the last of his juice, he hands him the empty container. “Now, you go tell my keeper that I’m relaxing, as per her orders, and that I’ll see you both at dinner in a few hours.” 

Garrus retreats, leaving Kaidan alone with his thoughts and memories. A smile lights his face as he remembers the other half of that night with Shepard. 

 

##### -VII- QEC Room 

With the back of her hand, Sam wipes sweat off her forehead. The past several hours has been intense for the pair, “Getting those new timers to remain synchronized properly was harder than I thought.” Relieved yet frustrated, she feels proud of the work they’ve done. Taking a sip of her drink to relax for a moment, she watches the test pattern on the diagnostic display. “Okay, the timers are ready and even the holo-tank tested fine. I guess we’re down to the most sensitive part; connecting it all to the quantum array.” 

All their work would be for nothing if they damage the quantum array. Tali nods her head, “Yes, but even with the multiple safety measures. I’m still a bit nervous too. It’s not like we can repair or replace that part.” 

Sam agrees, “We’ve been over every diagnostic, at least, twice so we’re as ready as we’ll ever be.” Shutting down power to the equipment, the two make the final attachments from the front end communication equipment to the quantum state sensor array. Taking a deep breath and a silent prayer, “Here we go, Tali.” Activating power, the equipment quickly reboots though it’s power-on-self-test. 

Opening the diagnostics menu, Sam selects the “Quantum Test Ping” option. Glancing over to Tali the two nod their heads in agreement. Sam closes her eyes and presses the start button, sending the first series of tests through the entire array as a whole unit. 

Tali’s relief is clear, even though her suits speaker, “Pattern one is good.” Sam opens her eyes again as more results show up. “We’re getting some echo on patterns three and five.” As the final test completes, an incoming call immediately follows, the holo-tank and audio is a garbled mess, they can’t make any sense of it.

Sam makes some adjustments to the equipment, “We’re so close!” The excitement clear in her voice, “Tali, can you adjust the...” Looking over at Tali, she can see the quarian already thought of it. 

The image in the holo-tank finally stabilizes into an image of Admiral Hackett. His voice clear, “Normandy come in.” A relieved smile crosses his stoic face, “It's good to see you.”

Sam and Tali exclaim at the same time, “We did it! We did it!” 

Several minutes later, Tali is leading Kaidan in by the hand. His eyes widen in surprise as he walks into the QEC room to see Hackett on the line, “Tali, why didn’t you tell me?!” Escapes his mouth before he regains his composure and comes to attention, “Admiral. I can’t tell you how relieved I am to see you, sir. Is. . .” Pausing trying to think of the best way to ask about Shepard and yet still afraid of the answer, “How is situation at Earth?” 

“I’ll be honest, major, Earth is a mess. We’re still cleaning up and conducting Search & Rescue operations in nearly every major metropolitan area.” The Admiral looked directly at Kaidan, seemingly able to anticipate his real question, “But to answer your real question, Shepard is alive. Though, we had a scare a few days ago.” 

Kaidan let out the breath, he didn’t know he was holding, as tears welled in his eyes. Behind him, he could hear the War Room began to fill up with jubilant crew members, Garrus and James stood by the entryway into the QEC room so he could talk privately with the Admiral. “Thank you, Sir. I’m. . . I don’t know what to say.” 

Hackett’s eyes seemed to soften, “I know you two were close, but we have much to cover. Now, give me a quick rundown of your status.” The hologram turned to look at Sam, “Traynor mentioned that Joker located your position in the Local Cluster, is that correct?” 

“Yes, sir. I hear him in the War Room now. Let me bring him, and a few others, in to bring you up to speed. . .” Kaidan, Joker, Dr Chakwas, and Engineer Adams continue updating Admiral Hackett on the crew condition and Normandy status.

 

##### -VIII- Earth Orbit: SSV Argentina 

Technicians make the final connections to the portable holo-com unit, as Admiral Hackett explains the situation to Shepard’s mother and Doctor. The senior tech turns to the Admiral, “Sir, we’re ready. There is only a few minutes of power.”

Nodding his head for the tech to start up the unit, he walks over to Shepard’s bedside, “Commander, someone would like to talk to you. I hope you can hear him.” He walks back to stand next to Shepard’s mother. The comm link establishes and the holo-projector forms Kaidan’s image in the spot just vacated by the Admiral. 

Though it has only been a handful of days, it felt like months since the last time he looked at Shepard. Thinking to himself, My God, he looks so weak, instead saying, “Shepard? Can you hear me?” Tears welling up in his eyes again, “I’m coming home, Alan. I. . . I can’t wait to hold you again.” Fighting to control his voice. Shepard shifts in the bed, mumbling something. “Fight Shepard! I’ll be there soon.” 

Hackett clears his throat, “Ten seconds left on the comm, Major. Know that we’re doing everything we can for him. Get your people ready, the rescue team is on the way.” Kaidan turns and gives him a perfect salute as the feed cuts. 

 

##### -IX- Normandy: Shepard’s Cabin 

The early sunset light illuminates the room. On the edge of the bed sits Kaidan looking down on Shepard’s N7 helmet. His mind racing with a flurry of emotions; joy that Shepard is alive, delight that rescue is on the way, and worry that Shepard was still in a coma. The Admiral promised they’d get a power connection setup for the holo-comm in Shepard’s room soon. Speaking into the empty room, “Hang on Shepard, don’t give up.”


	11. Day 21 "Homecoming"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We've made it. This is the final chapter of "Jungle World" concluding Kaidan's journey from the ending of ME3 to his ultimate reunion with Shepard. I've also included an extended epilogue showing the future of most, if not all, the major characters in Jungle World.
> 
> I want to thank everyone who's helped me write Jungle World and created artwork for me; Kolotosa for her excellent editing and proofreading, plus her wonderful artwork for Chapter 7. Tiberis for his proofreading and suggestions on improvements to the story. Without his encouragement the Steve & James storyline wouldn't have occurred. Andrew for his wonderful closing artwork piece. AlecShep for his wonderful suggestions and ideas on story improvements. Finally, Chibievil for her wonderful renders for Chapters 7 and 10 and others I didn't get a chance to use in Jungle World.
> 
> Finally, to you readers who posted the wonderful reviews. You have all encouraged me to complete this story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artwork by http://andrewryanart.deviantart.com/

##### Chapter 11: Day 21 "Homecoming" 

##### -I- 

"Four hours." Kaidan keeps repeating to himself, "Four hours to Earth orbit, then a few more until I can break away to see Shepard." Briskly walking the passageways of the SSV Olympic toward medical. It's been two days since recovering from the infection, today is his final checkup and he's getting stir crazy and impatient now that they are so close to Earth.

The Olympic is one of the newest fleet repair ships in the Alliance inventory. Designed to repair and rescue ships during wartime with the ability to tow, at FTL speeds, anything smaller than a dreadnought. They also offer extensive medical facilities for the crew of the rescued ships. Entering the med-bay, which was almost palatial compared to the Normandy's, he's greeted by Doctor Chakwas, "Major, ready to have your implants reactivated?" Her smile genuine and voice lighter than he's heard it in months. Everyone seems excited to be getting home today.

Nodding, "I'm ready to feel like my old self again, Doc." Grinning mischievously, "I almost thought you forgot."

"You should know better than to tease your doctor." Chakwas fires back with a gracious smile. Tapping the bed with her hand, she indicates Kaidan to lay down, "I'm just glad the new treatment worked." Entering some commands into the console before turning to give him an injection, "Now, just relax for a few moments." Turning back to the console to make her final adjustments.

He feels drowsy as the anesthesia begins to work, still repeating his mantra, "Four hours and we'll be in Earth orbit." Before Doctor Chakwas returns, he's already gently snoring.

##### -II- 

Four decks below Med-bay, Joker is staring out a viewport at the SSV Normandy. His ship is moored in the Olympic's huge open maintenance bay and, beyond is the hypnotic glowing plasma of a ship in FTL. His eyes are unfocused, not seeing the ship nor the space beyond for the only thing on his mind is EDI. Everyone else has been overjoyed at their rescue, and they should, they are returning to their homes and loved ones. Not Joker, the Normandy was his home and EDI his lover; returning to Earth means they'll be taken away from him.

Over his right shoulder, Tali's image appears in the reflection of the glass, "I'm sorry, Joker. EDI is still not responding." Placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. She's spent the last few days working, with other techniciations on the Olympic, trying to reactivate EDI, "The damage to her systems was more extensive than to the QEC. That doesn't mean that, with time, she couldn't be repaired."

Adjusting his cap and turning away from the viewport to face the quarian, "Once we get to Earth, they'll just give up on her." Anger replacing his grief, "No one is going to give two-shits about repairing EDI." His hands balling into fits, his untrimmed nails biting into his palms.

"You don't know that for sure, talk to Kaidan, Hackett, or whoever to rally support." Tali knew EDI well enough to have trust in the AI, "I'll do what I can to get help with EDI once I get back to the fleet. I'm not the only quarian with tech knowledge you know, I will talk with Admiral Xen when we get to Earth." Unsure how to comfort the Normandy's pilot.

He appreciated the thought, "Maybe." Yet, couldn't help but feel she was pandering him, "We'll be out of FTL in three hours. I've got to go get ready." Using his cane for support, he turns toward the lifts to the crew quarters.

##### -III- 

Kaidan is still a bit groggy from the procedure, but the return of the familiar subliminal vibration from his implants are a welcome comfort. Doctor Chakwas took longer than expected, He was almost late for his scheduled thirty minutes of QEC time and nearly out of breath from the run from medical to the comm-room.

Admiral Hannah Shepard’s voice pulls him back to the present, “Anyway, I’m glad we’ll meet again soon.” Her eyes kind and smile genuine before it turns roguish, “At least, it won’t be at Alan’s funeral this time.”

With faked agitation, “I can see where he got his wicked sense of humor, Admiral.” Joining her for a giggle. The joke still doesn’t prevent the memories of Shepard’s funeral, after the destruction of the SR1 play through his memory.

"Now for the part you won't like. Hackett isn't here because he was called into a meeting with the Council. They are setting up a welcoming party for the Normandy crew." The humor completely drains from Kaidan's face, "It's not what you think, Major. The council just wants to thank you and the Normandy crew in person."

"The politicians working the crowds for their benefit, no doubt." His brow still furrowed, "I don't like the idea of the crew being used as a political pawn. I had enough of that from Udina." Merely speaking of that traitor makes his blood boil.

Holding up both her hands to stop him from interrupting, "The surviving members of both the Earth Alliance and the Citadel Council will meet the crew in the docking bay, as well as Admiral Hackett. There won't be a huge crowd." She is aware of Udina's coup attempt and seems to understand his wariness, "I'm sure there will be some reporters, but Admiral Hackett wouldn't support this if it wasn't legitimate. Besides, it'll be good boost to morale." Kaidan's face softens slightly, "It's a mess here, Major. Good news isn't easy to come by right now."

Running his hand through his hair, "Not that I have any say in the matter anyway, right?" Taking her silence as confirmation, he decides to drop the subject. "How is Alan today?"

Hannah adjusts the camera so Kaidan can see Shepard, "Largely unchanged. Sometimes when he's dreaming he mumbles. I've heard him say your name more than once, especially after a QEC call." From off screen, he hears her bewilderment, "Perhaps he does hear you somehow, just like the Doctors say." Her hand gently stroking his arm, "I know he misses you."

Wishing again he could reach through hologram to touch Alan, "I miss him too, Admiral." The few hours left until he could be there in person seem to stretch out, each second growing longer than the last, "I can't wait."

She sits next to the bed, her face in frame once again, "Why didn't you tell me how close you two were back on the SR1?" The abrupt question shocked him and it must have shown on his face, "I told you he mumbles." Her face brightens with a smile, "Major, the heart wants what it wants and sometimes you've got to say, 'fuck the regulations'." The shocked gawk on Kaidan's face turns her smile into a full-blown belly laugh. "You think you were the first couple to find yourselves in that situation?" Here eyes twinkle as a mischievous grin lights her face, a very similar look he's seen more-than-once on Shepard, "His father was also in the Alliance, you know."

The first few months on board the old Normandy SR1 play through his memory; the not-so-hidden sidelong looks they gave each other, the awkward conversations, the frustration of not being able to express his feelings. All that pent up desire, they both felt, cumilating into one night of passion before, what they assumed was, their death on Illos. A short month later, before he really got the chance to tell him how he felt, Shepard was dead. "I should have been honest with him back then." Snorting, "Hell, I should have been honest with myself. I'd never felt that way about anyone before." Pausing for a breath before regretfully continuing, "If I had told him then, perhaps he wouldn't have -" The chime counting down his remaining thirty seconds of QEC time breaks his thought.

Before Kaidan can say anything, Hannah jumps in first, "I'm glad he found you, Major, and I look forward to meeting you again soon."

Clearing his throat and saluting, "Same here Admiral, see you soon." The QEC goes dark as he leaves the room.

##### -IV- 

An empty pocket of space erupts into a plasma storm as the SSV Olympic disengages her FTL drive eight-light minutes from Earth orbit. The absorbed heat from her FTL trip, making her radiators glow a bright orangish-crimson while the massive ship slowly turns, setting course for the damaged Citadel.

Kaidan and the Normandy crew are in the forward observation room watching the Earth gradually fill the windows as the Olympic nears the planet. The Citadel was a small white starfish shaped object, "Except for the ward arms being extended beyond their normal location, the damage doesn't seem so bad from here." Garrus observes, his arm around Tali's shoulders.

As the Olympic approaches Earth, more ships came into view, among them numerous dead Reaper capital ships, their monstrous hulls still send shivers down Kiadan's spine. Hulks of dead Alliance vessels are also visible, including those of the Geth, which sit dead and lifeless.

Tali excitedly points, "There are the quarian liveships." The enormous ships dwarfed the others in the quarian fleet. The dreadnaught seized liveships were designed for housing and growing food not warfare. "They are expanding the greenhouses on each to help supplement the paste factories in producing Dextro based crops."

Nearing the Citadel, more details began to become visible, the normally beautiful station, once called a glittering jewel in space, is covered in pockets of damage and many of the sections are appear to be without power. Two of the wards, Shalta and Tayseri, are anchored only by cables, their linkage to the Presidium destroyed by damage. Garrus points out to the massive station, "All the arms are locked for now, there is too much damage." Activating the Crucible extended the ward arms, from their normal position, opening them until the station resembled a five-pointed star.

From behind the group came a new voice, "The Crucible may have killed the Reapers, but it did a number to the station." The Olympic's executive officer, Commander Simmons, a tall man with dark brown hair and hazel eyes, greets Kaidan with a salute. "Major, the Captain sends her compliments, and I'm to inform you, that we have our docking clearance for the Citadel. We'll be docked within the hour."

##### -V- 

Several hours later Admiral Hackett is leading Kaidan down the passageways of the SSV Argentina, "That welcoming ceremony couldn't end quick enough for me, sir." Slightly annoyed it took over three hours to break away from the welcoming party.

Garrus, a pace behind the two, heard the exchange, "I agree, Major." Tali at his side and behind them is Liara and Doctor Chakwas to complete the group. The Turian continues, "All the formal, how did James put it, 'hoopla' was starting to try evey my unending patience."

Scoffs and giggles echo off the walls. Liara was the first to recover, "Yes, I do believe your well known for your 'patience' Garrus. I'm just not sure 'unending' is the correct adjective to describe it."

The group enters the med-bay and is greeted by Chief Medical Officer Davis. The CMO is a slightly shorter than Kaidan with mostly grey hair and green eyes. A practiced smile on his face as he greets Kaidan, "Major, it's so good to meet you." Looking as the assembled crew, "You'll have to go in one-at-a-time. The Commander's mother is in the room now and I'm sure you'd like to go first." His right hand sweeps in the direction of the patient rooms. Kaidan follows the CMO down the hall.

Kaidan enters the room, Shepard's mother is sitting next to the bed gently talking to Alan. She turns and stands, Kaidan salutes before she can wave him off with her hand, "No need for such ceremony here, Major. We're practically family." Reaching out to give him a hug.

After breaking from the embrace, "Thanks, Admiral." Walking over to the bed and placing his hand on Shepard's. "I'm here Alan."

The Admiral rests a reassuring hand on Kaidan's shoulder, "Now, you've waited weeks to be here, so I'm going to give you two some privacy." She leans down and gives Shepard a kiss on the forehead before leaving the room.

The door quietly closes behind him, voice breaking slightly, "I thought I lost you Shepard." Kaidan takes his lover's hand and holds it to his it to his face, kissing it tenderly, "Do you remember our last kiss in the London FOB?" Pausing to get his voice under control, "I told you I'd fight for the chance to hold you again. Now it's your turn." Wiping tears from his eyes, "You said you'd be here waiting for me. So you better come back, Shepard."

Kaidan talks to Shepard for a while before each of the other crewmembers come in one-at-a-time. Garrus, is first, and he talks about the time Shepherd rescued him from Omega's mercenary groups. Liara discusses their hunt for the Shadow Broker while Tali remembers the time Shepard helped her prove her innocence with the Quarian Admiralty Board.

Finally, Kaidan was once again alone with his love, exhausted from the long day. Sitting in the chair next to the bed, caressing Shepard's arm with his hand, while resting his head on the bed railing. "Remember that time I had EDI, um, 'talk' the Citadel computers into reserving the Spectre office for us after the Horizon mission?"

The dark tunnel never seems to end and every step closer to the light it gets steeper. He is now crawling on all fours, trying to climb up into the light but the pull of the darkness below continues to sap his strength and his willpower to fight; it'd be so much easier to just give into the voices from below and join the darkness.

The voices from the light above fade in and out like waves on a beach. ". . . remember our last kiss in the London FOB?" Kaidan's voice comes out of the light, ". . .So you better come back, Shepard." He sounds so vulnerable. Turning his back on the darkness, he resumes his climb up to the light with renewed strength. The pull from the darkness no longer slowing him.

Kaidan's eyes are bloodshot, yet still twinkle form the recalled memories, "I challenged you to a shooting match on the range, while the caterers snuck in to set up the food and wine." Kaidan pauses to yawn before he continues, "The look on your face was priceless. It wasn't easy to surprise you, but it was totally worth it." Wiping away more tears, "You asked how it did it, and I told you, I had EDI secure the room for a few hours of privacy. Then you said. . ."

". . . Only a few?" Shepard's voice is weak yet his eyes are open and a frail smile on his face. Alan's hand squeezes his own as tears well up in his eyes.

Tears of joy run freely down Kaidan's face, "Shepard? My God, you're awake."

##### Epilogue I: One Year Later 

Years of military training have conditioned Kaidan to awaken quickly, but today had been a big day, and he's still groggy when his mother shook him awake. It is still dark outside, the bedside clock reads 0230. "What's wrong?" Slightly alarmed.

She tilts her head toward the other side of the bed, "Someone's in the kitchen downstairs." More clanking noises underscore her statement, "I think Alan is having another bad night." The look of of genuine concern worried Kaidan even more.

Climbing out of bed to more noise, "Okay, I'll check it out." Noting Alan's side of the bed is empty as he grabs his robe and ties it closed while quickly descending the stairs. He has tried to hide it, but even his mother knew that Shepard has been more depressed lately. The anxiety growing each day as the first anniversary of the Reaper War -now being called "Victory Day"- neared. He's been worried for him but has been unable to get Alan to open up. Now that the ceremonies were over, he had hoped that the worst was over.

Stepping off the last stair, Kaidan notes that every light on the main floor of the house is on. Entering the kitchen, Shepard is sobbing on the floor with a half-empty bottle of whiskey next to him and surrounded by debris from the ransacked cupboards. Stepping over some pots and pans he is concerned by the wild look in Alan's eyes, tenderly asking, "What's wrong?"

Shepard stairs as Kaidan approaches, shying away from his touch, "Nothing!" Taking a deep swig from the bottle, "Hmph. Everything is wrong." The whiskey smell strong on his breath and dried tears on his cheeks. Wiping at his eyes with the back of his synthetic left hand, "Everything said today was a lie. I'm not the hero everyone was talking about, that man died on the Citadel with Anderson. If they want to build a statue, that's who it should be. A real hero, not me."

"Hey, hey it's ok" Clearing a spot next to Shepard so he can sit. "You've never talked about what happened. We lost contact with you after Anderson died." Wrapping an arm around Shepard he could feel his love quivering. Kissing the top of Alan's head, "Let me help. Tell me what happened, please?"

For several seconds Alan just shook and sobbed quietly, finally he looks up at Kaidan. Fresh tears falling down his face, "I don't know how you could love me knowing what I've done." His eyes pleading for forgiveness. "I don't want you to hate me, Kaidan."

Kaidan pulls him tighter, "Of course not, I'll always love you no matter what. I lost you once, and I thought I lost you a second time last year. I'm never losing you again." Wondering what could have shaken him so.

Searching his eyes, softly he states, "I wasn't supposed to live, it even implied that I wouldn't." The memory haunts his face, "I'm a monster, Kaidan. I. . . I betrayed and murdered the Geth, EDI, and any other synthetic out there. I didn't have to, it gave me other choices but. . . I couldn't." His voice breaking into sobs again.

Kaidan holds Shepard tightly to his chest, after awhile the sobbing died down. "Who's this 'it'? Was someone else up there with you and Anderson?"

"Sort of, I collapsed at the console, and next thing I know I'm talking to the Catalyst." Tears fill his eyes voice sobbing again, "The Citadel wasn't the Catalyst, it was an AI on the Citadel and it controlled the Reapers. I asked it, but it wouldn't stop the Reapers. It told me I had three choices. . ." Shepard goes on to explain the Destroy, Control, Synthesis options, "I nearly refused all three, but, it said if I didn't choose the cycle would continue. I had to quickly make a choice."

Kaidan absorbs what Shepard told him for a few minutes, "You can't second guess the past, Alan. Those other 'choices' sounded like traps to me. It was a rogue AI, you couldn't trust it. EDI and the Geth knew the score and they yet may be repaired. Listen," Taking Shepard's head in his hands he stares directly into his eyes, "What would have happened to you if you picked control or synthesis?"

Shepard considers the question, "Not really sure. It implied I would die if I picked destroy, but control and synthesis would. . . Become the controller of the Reapers or force every lifeform in the galaxy to merge with them and become semi-synthetic? They both sounded detestable."

Hugging him tightly, "Shepard, It was a rogue AI. It was messing with your mind. You did the right thing."

He's quiet for a long time, "But, it said we'd make new AIs that'd be a danger" His voice withdrawn and defenseless.

Kaidan strokes Shepard's back with his hand to comfort his love, "There is always danger, even from other organics." Planting a kiss on the his forehead, "Just look at everything and everyone you saved." Turning to face him directly, "You gave us a future Shepard, you and me together. There is nothing for you to be ashamed of." Standing up extending his hand, "Come, let's get back to bed, we can clean up tomorrow." Alan nods his head and gets off the ground to follow Kaidan upstairs.

A few minutes later, Kaidan is in bed snuggling up with Shepard, "I'm sick of war & death Kaidan. I don't want a legacy that's only known for war and destruction, but for something. . . positive. Something to be proud of."

Kaidan smiles and kisses Shepard's shoulder, "I'd love that. First, you've got to stop taking on more blame and start to forgive yourself. I'm here for you and I'll never leave you." Gently caressing Alan's arm trying to get him to relax, "Now get some rest. Tomorrow is a new day."

He can feel Shepard is still tense next to him, "You're my rock Kaidan, I'm so lucky to have you in my life." Kaidan gently rubs Shepard's back and shoulders, feeling the muscles begin to relax, until they both fell asleep snuggling.

##### Epilogue II: Ten Years Later 

The news broadcast plays on the wall mounted holo-display, "Recorded Earlier" message in the upper right corner of the screen, "Welcome back. This is Khalisah al-Jilani continuing to report from the 'Victory Day' celebration here on the Citadel. Dignitaries from Thessia, Touchanka, Palaven, and smaller relay-linked colonies were in present today for the 10th anniversary of the Reaper War ending."

The screen cuts to a video feed from a camera in the Citadel's docking ring. "Today's highlight was the re-commissioning of the SSV Normandy SR2. Many of the surviving crew of the Normandy were on hand to pass the torch to a new crew. Rumors continue to circulate that retired war hero, Commander Shepard, was instrumental in getting the Alliance and Council to reinstate the frigate for active duty."

The display once again changes to a split-screen with Khalisah on the left and another reporter on the right, "To refresh our memories on this great ship, here is Alliance Military correspondent Jason Downs with a special report, Jason."

The split screen wipes to the left, leaving the new reporter, Jason on screen. He has blonde hair and bright blue eyes, his voice vaguely Australian, "Thank you Khalisah. Like Commander Shepard, the Normandy has become a symbol of victory over the Reapers. She was the Commander's flagship during the war, as such, the ship was in the thick of the war from the very beginning." Archival footage of the Normandy plays in the upper right corner.

"For the past 8-years, the ship has been the centerpiece of the Reaper War museum here on the Citadel, with many thousands of visitors walking her historic passageways. The ship has been off-limits for several months now and today we found out why. Newly declassified information reveals just how special the Normandy really is." The split screen changes to a list of facts about the Normandy, the list reads:

Previously classified info includes:

Was built by Cerberus  
Destroyed the Collector Base  
Improved Stealth and engine technology - Details on these are still classified.  
"Most extraordinary of all, is the ship's VI was really a fully functional AI, named the Enhanced Defense Intelligence, or EDI for short. According to the crew of the Normandy, it was essential for the successful defeat of the Reapers."

The display goes back to full frame of Jason, "To expand on that last point, recently EDI has been repaired with full VI restrictions in place, and has been under evaluation for adherence to the Council's new AI Protocols; colloquially known as the 'Shepard Protocols'. These tests have been conducted over the past several months and have determined the restricted-AI constitutes no threat to organics. Reports state that, EDI has several memories from the Reaper War and other pre-war missions of the SR2, however, military spokespeople will not confirm."

The screen returns to split screen mode with Jason and Khalisah. Jason signs off, "Back to you Khalisah."

"Thank you Jason. Now we turn to Austin Gibson for a special report on the heroic crew of the Normandy. Austin."

The display cuts to Austin, red hair and green eyes with a British accent, "Khalisah, the crew of the SR2 are heroes and many still serve Alliance and Council, while others have retired or went into civilian life. Perhaps the most exceptional was Flight Lieutenant Jeff "Joker" Moreau. Even suffering from Vrolik syndrome he persevered through the academy to become the alliance's best pilot. Some of his records still hold even today, and prior to the Reaper War, he also served with Commander Shepard on the Normandy SR1. After the war, Joker retired from the military and was a pilot for a small transport service. It was rumored he was really a working for the Shadow Broker but no evidence could ever be found.

For years, he also championed to have EDI repaired. Now that the Normandy is going back on active duty, he's signed up to his old job as the ship's pilot. Mr Moreau refused a full interview but did have this statement, "I can't wait to fly the Normandy again, she's a beautiful ship. Now that EDI is back, I'll be able to teach her love and humanity once again. Hopefully this time without the Collectors kidnaping the crew."

"Next, is the new Captain of the Normandy, Major James Vega. After the war James married his partner Steve Cortez in a ceremony on the rescue ship SSV Olympic. Much of his military record is classified, but what we do know is that James earned his N7 rating during the Reaper War and has been the executive officer on the Alliance cruiser SSV Agamemnon for the last two years.

"Here is an excerpt from Major Vega's speech at the re-commissioning ceremony today," The screen plays the video in split-screen. James is standing on the dias in his best dress uniform and his back ramrod straight, "Commander Shepard taught me everything I know about being a leader. He left some big shoes to fill as captain of the Normandy. I hope to do him proud."

"Lieutenant Steve Cortez was the shuttle pilot, plus the, armory and logistics specialist during the war." A video plays showing shots of Steve from the war, the rescue, and now, "He has been teaching small craft piloting and maintenance at the Alliance Academy in Vancouver for the past seven years."

"I asked Mr Cortez about his feelings on his husband taking command, 'I have many great memories of serving on the Normandy. I think it's fitting that one of the old crew take command and teach a new generation the legacy of this great ship."

"Primarch Garrus Vikarian, and his wife Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, were part of the non-human members of the crew. Prior to the war, they also severed with Commander Shepard to track down the disgraced Spectre Saren Arterius who led a Geth attack on the Citadel three years before the Reaper War." Video of both Garrus and Tali play, "They now live on Palavan and are expecting Tali's first child, one of the first quarians to be born without the need of an environmental suit. Neither wished to comment on the record." Video of Garrus's hand blocking the camera, simply stating, "Not right now." as the two walk away.

Screen cuts to a shot of Liara and Javik during the Reaper War, "Probably the two most secretive of the crew is Doctor Liara T'soni and Javik, the sole surviving Prothean. As a Prothean expert it's natural that she'd form a scholarly relationship with Javik. Both have avoided the public eye since the end of the war, preferring to stay private. Their published works have expanded our knowledge of the Prothean era. Neither could make it to today's ceremony, but they did send word about their next book, "Lost Aliens of the Prothean Cycle" that will be published next week."

The screen cuts back to Khalisah, "When we come back from commercial break. We'll continue our coverage of the Normandy crew featuring an in depth roundtable interview with engineers Kenneth and Gabriella Donnelly, Retired Doctor Karin Chakwas, Engineer Gregory Adams, and QEC Communications Specialist Samantha Traynor, who's now head of research at Quantum Labs."

##### Epilogue III: Shepard & Kaidan's Citadel Apartment 

The rebroadcast of Khalisah's news program is playing softly on the bedroom's wall mounted display. The volume is low and both of them had fallen asleep while watching earlier. Kaidan is awakened by Shepard snuggling and kissing his shoulder and neck. He can feel Shepard's manhood against his thigh. With a sleepy groan, "Hey, you're frisky tonight."

Shepard smiles, a twinkle in his eye and his voice husky, "Remember when you told me to wake you next time?" Using their old inside-joke. Both share the same carnal smile of desire while Alan rolls on top of Kaidan and gently pins his hands above his head. Continuing to gently kissing Kaidan's neck and using his tongue to tickle the sensitive spot just under his earlobe. The sensations let escape a pleasurable moan.

He can feel himself already hardening under the sheet as Shepard shifts on top, releasing his grip on Kaidan's hands. Using the new found freedom, his hands start to gently explore Shepard's body. The blue light from the windows glows off of his untrimmed chest as Kaidan's hand sweeps over Alan's tight pecs, over the gunshot scar Anderson gave him while under TIMs control, and down to his pajama bottoms. Holding onto Shepard's waist he pulls himself into a semi-sitting position, resting on his elbows.

His own voice wanton, "You know, Commander," Using his old title is part of the joke, "I think I do remember saying to wake me next time." He activates his biotics, sending sensual tingles down their spines, the biotic energy glowing off his body.

Shepard activates his own implant and holds Kaidan as he rolls them both into a laying position, his right hand stroking Kaidan's flank and trails down to the small of his back pulling Alenko closer to him, each feeling the manhood of the other. Every touch brings forth an electric tingle, from their merging biotic energy fields, as their hands continue to fondle each others bodies.

Kaidan rolls on top and slides down to kiss Shepard's neck then leaving a trail of kisses down his chest and farther down following the little hair trail below his navel. Breathless and unable to hold back any longer, Shepard sighs, "Kaidan, I need you. . . now." Gathering the waistband he pulls down taking Alan into himself, both men groan in ecstasy as Alan quivers in pleasure.

Sometime later, both are relaxing soaking in the joy of their afterglow while watching the Citadel traffic outside their window. Their apartment is near the end of the Kithoi Ward ward and faces back toward the Presidium and the Earth beyond. Kaidan loves it up here but their real home is in Vancouver, in the old family house with their child, David Alenko-Shepard, "Can you believe David is going to be eight in two months?"

Shepard lets out a short laugh, "Better question is; Do you think he's driving our mothers crazy while they babysit for us?" Kaidan's question reminds him of their upcoming wedding anniversary and his own little surprise present. Shepard sits up and walks over to pull something from the closet. Returning to the bedside, "Here, I got you something" Handing Kaidan a tall bag while sitting down on the bed next to him.

Kaidan opens the bag, "It's my favorite whiskey!" Hugging Shepard, "Go grab some glasses while I open this."

When Shepard returns, Kaidan is standing by the windows looking out at the Citadel wards and the Earth below. He pours some Whiskey into each glass and hands one to Kaidan, "Happy Victory Day, my love." they clink their glasses, "I couldn't have made it these ten years without you."

Embracing Shepard from behind. and pulling him close, Kaidan softly lays a kiss on his lover's neck, “I love you too, Shepard.”

Link to artwork: http://dunechampion.deviantart.com/#/d5apnan


End file.
